Here’s The Part You Didn’t See (On Being Bold, Taking Chances & Being Okay With Mistakes)

Every once in a while, I feel like I need to take a moment and give a little pep talk to some of you. Well, today is one of those days. 🙂 And this happens when I rack up a considerable number of comments that contain the work “scared” or a similar sentiment.

For example, “Kristi, I love your use of color. I decorate with neutrals because I’m scared…”

Or, “Kristi, I love how you’re willing to try things, and if it doesn’t work out, you redo it until you’re satisfied. I’d love to do that, but I’m scared…”

And what do y’all express that you’re scared about? First of all, wasting money. That’s totally understandable, and there’s no real “pep talking” your way out of that.

Second of all, wasting time. That’s kind of understandable, but if you’re doing something you enjoy, then I wouldn’t consider it a waste of time.

Sometimes the whole “wasting time” issue is a matter of personal perspective. I’m reminded of a conversation I had with someone just about two months ago. I was sharing about some frivolous activity that I thoroughly enjoyed and had been spending time doing lately, and his response was something like, “I don’t know how you have that much time to waste. I’m too busy for stuff like that.” Of course, we had this conversation right before he sat down in front of the television to watch a football game, which on average is around 3.5 hours long. You know what I don’t spend MY time doing? Watching 3.5-hour-long football games on TV. 😀

Perspective. The “wasting time” issue is generally all about perspective.

But aside from the money and time issues, people tell me quite often that they’re afraid of making mistakes. Now that is not acceptable. 🙂  And I can tell you from personal experience that that fear of making mistakes is something you can get past if you’re willing to push yourself out of your comfort zone and suffer the discomfort for a while.

So let me start by showing you a recent chance I took that didn’t quite work out.

When I finally decided to go with striped walls in the hallway, I had this idea. The stripes would be neutral colors, but then I’d do an outline around the doors, baseboards, and crown moulding in a bold color. So I got the stripes finished, started on the bold color outline, tested the idea on about 18 inches around one of the doors, and then chickened out and painted over it with the neutral stripe colors.

I hated the fact that I chickened out, and for a couple of months, I kept wondering, “But what if?” What if that was the most amazing idea that I had just passed up on? What if that was the thing that would take the hallway from ho-hum to WOW, and I had chickened out?

But I eventually put it out of my mind. Then a few days ago, I was scrolling through Instagram and came across this post…

A post shared by Schumacher (@schumacher1889) on

I loved it! And that was pretty much the idea I had in my head for the hallway, so after seeing that picture, I decided to go for it. I debated whether to use some sort of trim or paint. Trim would be so much easier but way more expensive. Paint would take way longer but would be much cheaper. I already had plenty of paint on hand, so I decided to do that route.

I decided to use the same color I had used on my front door to bring a warm, bright color into the mix. After a couple of hours of taping and painting three coats, this is what I had.

I left it like that and stared at it for a day. I moved on to something else, and then came back and looked at it to see what my response to it would be with fresh eyes.

I liked it. I liked that it introduced a warm color. I liked that it was bold and out of the box. I liked that it was totally unexpected. I liked how it actually made the trim show up rather than disappear into neutral stripes.

But in the end, I decided it was just okay. And “just okay” isn’t really the goal I’ve set for my projects in my house. So I spent about three hours the next day sanding down the edges (I had, after all, painted three coats of paint on those stripes), taping off the neutral stripes…again, and repainting my neutral stripes with three coats of paint to cover up the coral.

And in the end, I wound up with this…

hallway after remodel - teal doors, striped walls, watercolor artwork

…and called it finished.

Am I disappointed that the bold outline didn’t work out? Kind of. In my mind, it looked pretty amazing, so I’m disappointed that the real thing didn’t knock my socks off like I thought it would. Am I disappointed that I “wasted time” doing something that didn’t work out? Not in the least!

First of all, had I not tried, I would have continued to wonder “what if”. And at least for me, that continual wondering about a chance I didn’t take leads to a feeling of discontentment. I’m discontent with my final product because in my mind, it can be much better. But now having tried the idea that I thought would make it much better, I now know without a doubt that the final product I actually ended up with is the better version of the two. I’m perfectly content with it.

But also, I learned lessons from that failed project that will be handy for me in the future. For one, if you’re going to do something like that, I would highly recommend going the “more money/less time” route and using some sort of purchased trim. It would be so much easier and faster, but the finished product would also look much cleaner and more precise.

I also learned the importance of paint sheen. I mean, yes, I already knew this, but this project really solidified in my mind that certain projects demand certain sheens. I actually painted those outlines twice. The first time I did it, I used the same satin finish paint I had used on my front door. The problem is that I was using a satin finish vertically over walls that had horizontal stripes painted on them. When you tape off and paint any design on your walls, that design will always have ridges when you remove the tape. So those ridges between the white and gray stripes were highlighted when I painted satin sheen paint over the top of them. It looked awful. So I sanded the ridges down just in the areas where the painted outline would go, retaped for the outline, and painted it again with a matte sheen. That worked so much better.

That lesson in paint sheens and ridges left by taped/painted wall designs is something I won’t forget, and it’s a valuable lesson that I will certainly be mindful of in future projects.

And not all of my chance-taking ends with failure. Some of it does. Some of it doesn’t. But I’m always glad I tried. I took a real risk putting a Sharpie marker to my stenciled music room walls, but I think that risk really paid off. The design looks so much better with the addition of the black outline!

But in order to take chances, you do have to get over the fear of failure, and that’s something I struggled with for a very large portion of my life.

I can theorize as to why I struggled with such a fear of failure for so much of my life. I personally think it has to do with my being a perfectionist and being afraid of messing up. But others who have a fear of failure may struggle for different reasons.

For so many years of my life, my fear of failure caused me to get stuck in the planning stage of a project, and I could never seem to get out of that planning phase into the actually “doing” phase. I would devise a plan. Then I’d tweak that plan. Then I’d make a couple more changes to the plan. Then I’d do some research and find that I had missed some key parts of the plan. So I’d scrap the original plan and devise a better plan. Then I’d study that plan and tweak it a bit more. Then I’d add a couple more things and subtract a few things. Then I’d come up with a modified version of that plan that might be better. Then I’d get input on that plan, and have to tweak it further.

You get the idea. The planning would go on, and on, and on, and on, and on, in a never ending cycle, and the project would never actually begin. And all because the planning stage was safe, but the “doing” phase was scary because I could possibly make a mistake.

For the most part, I’ve gotten past all of that. And the more mistakes I’ve made, and the more chances I’ve taken, the more fun I find in being a “jump in with both feet” kind of person.

That’s not to say that I’m now completely free from the fear of failure, or that I don’t still sometimes get stuck in the planning stage. (One word…pantry. 😀 ) But since my 20s, I’ve gotten so much better and just jumping in and being willing to make mistakes and learn from them.

It’s so freeing. I wish I could convince all of you of that, but it’s something you have to learn by doing. Just start with one step. And then follow with another step. And before you know it, it won’t be that scary. You can do it! 🙂

 

 

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52 Comments

  1. OMG that coral outline is so… unusual… and cool… and… doesn’t work as well as what you ended up with.

    Good choice painting over it.

    It makes me wonder what else you’re hiding from us though. 😀

  2. I love the “wasted time is all about perspective” bit. I go way overboard at Christmas time while wrapping presents. I mean, I don’t wanna brag, but I can curl 3′ of ribbon. My presents belong in a magazine. This year, I built snowman presents for my nieces, with coal eyes and carrot noses and hats. I love doing it. I put on Christmas movies, make a nice beverage, and sit on my floor wrapping! It’s so enjoyable. Every year, so many people tell me it’s a waste of time and I must not have a life. But I guarantee each one of them spent the same amount of time watching tv as I did wrapping presents! 110% all about perspective!

    1. After I retired, way too early, I learned that being creative is essential … ESSENTIAL … to enjoying life to its fullest. Watching a movie is not, but wrapping beautifully while watching, is. Watching football is not, but painting, refinishing, etc., while watching is. I sew and do calligraphy and stained glass while listening to audio books, or whatever, or nothing, just enjoying the process. I so agree that it is all perspective.

      1. It is definitely all about perspective. I adore watching movies. I work hard every day and when I want to relax, a good movie helps me do just that. It’s therapeutic for me, and definitely can get my creative juices flowing at times. My husband is actually a big watcher of football, and he’d challenge anyone who says that’s not essential to him living his fullest life. I think what’s key here is not to make assumptions or judge others about how they spend their time (within the confines of what’s legal!), and this post has been a great reminder of that. Along with awesome DIY advice and the beloved “before and afters” of course!

        1. Oh, I certainly didn’t mean to imply that watching movies or football was a waste of time. I do it myself. I just think you need to be creative in some form, writing, reading, cooking, painting, repairing bikes, filming, gardening, whatever. And, it’s not the only thing that makes life worth living, but it is a very important part. Family, exercise, relationships, peace, recreation, etc. are also important.

    2. Sherre, now I’m DYING to see some of your wrapped presents!

      My mom is a perfectionist when she does gift wrapping and she passed that on to me. I’d go ALL OUT when doing gift wrapping, using specialty bows and ribbons, often making my own bows, and adding 3D trinkets and other doo-dads to the outside of the gift, as well as some very creative use of boxes and other methods of concealing the gift’s contents.

      I used to get put in charge of my wrapping my boyfriend’s families presents (which was great, because I got my own room to do it away from the chaos of the holidays), and also was put in charge of gift wrapping at holiday time in the cosmetics department at my local Nordstrom when I worked there years ago. I *LOVE* a creatively, well-wrapped gift, sometimes more than what’s inside! I’ve often thought about doing a gift-wrap service at the holidays for extra money for people who hate (can you even imagine?!) wrapping presents.

    3. I hope you shared those presents for people to get inspiration from. I had a Pinterest board on gift wrap, as I’m sure other people had.

  3. One of the things that I love most about your blog is that you aren’t afraid of mistakes and re-doing/re-working something you’ve already done until it is what you want. Your “mistakes” have taught me so much, just as my own mistakes do. I’m in awe of your skills.

    Thank you for your encouraging words and caring about your followers. You are truly amazing!

  4. So true, all about perspective! In my last house we had builder’s basic honey oak on EVERYTHING. I cringed when we walked in for the first time and I saw all of the stair railing that just screamed “help me.” I would mention my plans to re-stain the stair bannister, balusters and spindles, and people kept telling me over and over again how much time it would take–that I wouldn’t have time for it, and basically, that I was crazy. 5 YEARS LATER, when we were going to list our house for sale, I tackled the project. I was SO ANGRY with myself for waiting so long, thinking this was a “time-waster” project that basically would never get completed. And yet, I finished it in a week, and it completely transformed the look of our home–all for another family to enjoy. Over those five years I finished a lot of other projects in our home, and tried new ideas, some of which failed, but I gained so much knowledge in the process, and I also released a lot of my perfectionism, because honestly, sometimes it was too much work to go back and make it “perfect”. That let me try many new things, and to do it my best, but also to remember to enjoy the process of trying something out. Fear can be SO controlling, this is a great post Kristi!

  5. I’m glad you talked about making mistakes. It is how you learn and perfect your technique. You won’t know until you try. I consider myself a novice DIY’er and my house in flux at this point. I painted my downstairs walls and wall going up my stairs may apple yellow. I like it. Wasn’t sure w it would look but I did it. So you never know until you try.

  6. “being a perfectionist and being afraid of messing up” Yep, that’s me too! Always planning, and planning . . . and rarely doing. Thanks for the pep talk in this great post!

  7. Ive found a middle-ground that is less work. When I was convinced I wanted black mullions with my newly painted white trimmed windows, I covered them in black electrical tape to fake the look. I waited a few days before deciding it was just ok and then I quickly and easily peeled the tape off. 🙂 I did the same with my shower doors to see if I liked the black mbullion factory door look. I’m sure i’m not the first to figure out this idea, just thought I’d share. 🙂

  8. I so love your blog with the try and try again until it is right. It inspired me to rip out a coat closet and turn it into a “drop zone” area. I also added electrical out lets then opened up a hole in the wall, trimmed it out in order to allow sunshine from the sky light to hit the cabinet tops. I did waste 8 feet of crown molding trying to cut the blasted return but I learned something! And all thanks to you! You made me feel like I could do it and never had fear because your tutorials are so good!
    We have just sold that house and now I have a new home with an accent wall and I want to go bold with a paint color…after reading this I will go for it. It was the push I needed. “NO FEAR” it’s just paint. I don’t even have to sand down strips.

  9. I love that schumacher room! That is AMAZING! I think the reason the trim works in the schumacher room and it didn’t work in your hallways is the relative proportion of the trim color. In your hallway, that coral color was going around several doors that are very close together, whereas with the schumacher room, the red accent was a little more distributed. Also, the schumacher room was just blue and white, while you have gray, white, and a third color – teal. Anyway, glad you tried it. I could definitely see you using that technique in your studio. You could do everything in shades of lavender and white, but then add an accent color like green or yellow.

    So, I wonder, if in addition to your master to do list, you should also keep of list of “trieds”. Even if they don’t work, they’re still things you did. You just didn’t keep them. Being an accountant, I love lists. 🙂

    As always, it’s fun to read your thoughts!

    1. I do think you’re right about the proportion of trim to wall. Also, that designer used what looks like 1/2″ trim, where my painted outline was almost an inch. This is one of those “less is more” situations. And one more thing is that if you look at other pictures of that room, the designer used that trim color on the doors as well. So she had that red outline trim, and amazing red doors. It’s GORGEOUS. I do think mine would have worked better had it been narrower and matched the door color. It’s definitely an idea I’ll keep in mind for another room.

      1. In your hall, it’s in a small area, too, along with being two door frames. If it was a window in that same size area, it may have worked well. In the Schumacher picture, was it done in grosgrain ribbon?

  10. I find the expression “waste of time or wasting time” ridiculous. If I want to read a book for the day instead of housework or anything that some would consider “productive”, then I am going to read the book not because I think it’s a waste of time. It’s because I need to be doing something I enjoy. Same goes for wrapping presents or remodeling my house or staring at the football game. We need ways to relax without feeling guilty. The society police seem to think that unless we are saving the world or doing what deems to be acceptable to others, we are just frittering our precious moments away. As long as I wake up, can take a deep breath and mogate, there is no such thing as waste of time. So, I say do what makes you happy. For the moment or lifetime, matters not. Carry on, folks!

  11. So I am looking into getting into DIY house hold projects. But am overwhelmed on where to start, like what areas of the house would you suggest for those just getting into DIY’s and decorating?
    Also, how you jump into doing big expensive things for the first time (like tiling a floor in a bathroom). Did you practice in a smaller/less noticeable area first?

    1. From my experience I would suggest that you start with doing some research about whatever needs to be done. My first tiling project was a whole bathroom – all the walls up to the ceiling, and the floor. Before I started, I found as much information as I could about the tiling, what adhesive to use, etc. I registered on a DIY forum, where many of the members are professional trade people, who don’t mind giving advice to DIY-ers, and I asked questions there. Also I did my best to imagine the whole process in detail beforehand, some of the questions I asked on the forum came from this thinking. At the beginning I mixed small portions of adhesive, so that it wouldn’t harden before I was able to use it.

      And it is the same for everything that I do for first time. In that bathroom it included new subfloor, plumbing, upgraded electrical wiring, tiling, installing a bath, a vanity, and a toilet, trimming to size and hanging a new door, literally everything. I’ve had a previous experience with electrics and with one door before that one, but there was a first time for these activities, too.

      Another piece of advice is to check the building codes where you live.

    2. I would suggest watching YouTube videos, too. There’s probably a YouTube video for every activity! I actually watched a YouTube video on an entire shoulder replacement before I had mine done, but I am a retired RN. lol

  12. Amazing room! I’m trying to figure out a game plan for my hallway and this is definitely inspirational! I wanted to try a stencil pattern in it but was scared. I think I might have to try now.

    Would you consider doing a black sharpie outline around your hall trim to make it stand out like your stencil?

  13. Nicely said Maggie. Some enjoy books, watching sports, diy, cooking, while others couldn’t be bothered. To my way of thinking, if it brings you joy, its not a waste.

    1. Thank you! maybe 40 years ago I was of the mind that I should be always “doing something”. As I got older, I looked around and saw a lot of frazzled people. I didn’t want to be like that so I accepted the fact that just waking up and breathing was much more important than how much I could accomplish in one day. Mind you, I did have 2,sometimes 3 jobs to support my daughter and myself. Those were necessary. Time is never a waste when you can kick back and do enjoyable things whatever it may be.

  14. I love watching you transition through your projects. I am slow about change, as being older and less mobile/flexible now, I think about the extra work long and hard! I like your room without the trim, and your room is gorgeous. But, I do like the pen shadow you gave the stenciled walls. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Elle, that’s what I was thinking. It looked to me like painters tape in the way it was done, but maybe a narrower line along the crown would be just the bit of accent to jazz it up, if that’s what Kristi feels is needed. But I do think it looks fine without also. Wonder if there is a ribbon or fabric trim that could be used also? Easier to remove if done right.

      1. Also would add – I agree about what you said. Never be afraid to try, or you live with regret! I self-taught all of my DIY knowledge and sewing skills. Oh my, the first time I used a circular saw, power nailer, etc. scared me to death! But I pushed myself, and now I feel I can do anything I want. The younger generation has the advantages of You tube, blogs and pinterest, as well as many other sources, to learn how to DIY. All I had were books, magazines and people I knew who could teach me. Proud to say some of my DIY courage rubbed off on my two grown daughters, who now do their own projects, and even make money on it sometimes! They just hate to sew, and never did master that machine, LOL!

        1. Same here. I remember how scared I was to use a drill for first time. For some reason I though it would kick back as a riffle 🙂 We are probably about the same age, there wasn’t internet when I started.

          1. 🙂 I was scared to use a drill the first time too, and I had internet! Now, years have passed and I’m perfectly comfortable with it. Until a few months ago, when I put a phillips head drill bit through my ring finger. I still don’t have 100% feeling in the tip of my finger! And when I went to hang some art this past weekend, I found myself being a little fearful again. Haha, the memory of pain is too fresh!!

  15. I have always loved colors and lots of them. I’m married to a guy who would paint everything white and be perfectly happy with that. So, we’ve learned to compromise (most of the time). I try to put a neutral as either a wall color or as an accessory to whatever color I use in a room. It seems to be working as we have worked room-by-room to do each room in our home. Color makes me happy so I’m more than willing to experiment with them. Thanks for the kick in the behind to remember that.

    Also, I did like the coral accent around the doors in your hall but it is much calmer without. Perhaps you could use it elsewhere in the house? Your studio or sunroom?

  16. I so agree with what you said! My kids say there’s so much paint on my walls, it’s decreased the square footage of the house. I guess painting is what I do, it’s a cheap way to completely change the dynamic of a room. I didn’t like the coral trim idea at all! It looked like you’d taped the wall in preparation for painting.

  17. Great pep talk, thank you! Many wise words here. I struggle with time/energy being “expensive” because as an at-home mom with two dear, exhausting young children and some health issues that often take an additional toll on my energy… I really want to do things right the first time, in the most efficient way. I have the perfectionist block as well so you can just imagine the excuses I make not to jump in with both feet. BUT. I think you did persuade me to go ahead painting the back of our reading nook dark. I’m not 100% on the exact color, just know that I want it dark. Loden green? Soft charcoal? If at first I don’t succeed, it’s a small and simple enough wall that I can handle doing it over again.

  18. I agree 100%! I know someone who has lived in her house for 15 years and has NEVER repainted one room because she’s afraid to. It’s only paint! It’s probably the cheapest and quickest way to make a major change to a space. I recently obsessed over a navy blue paint color for my son’s room, finally bit the bullet and started to paint and it was intense cobalt blue! Oops, but the next day I bought a better color and started over. The only way you learn is to do it.

  19. I love this post Kristi – both the pep talk and showing your experiment with the outline. I would probably try to do a computer simulation first or to fake it with adhesive tape before painting. But before finding your blog I’ve never considered redoing things and actually enjoying it. Your attitude is an eye opener for me, thank you so much for this!

  20. Time is critical to some. For myself, after 8 hours of Nursing, I am exhausted. Time is of the essence if I want any semblance of a life outside my day job. Once and done is how I have to get things done at home. And I don’t even have a family to tend to. What you do day in and day out is your job. You work incredibly hard and are so talented but trying new things and tweaking others fits into your life a lot easier. Heck it is your life.
    Know what’s scary to me? Hitting the “post” button…I’ve voiced my opinions on blogs before only to be shamed by followers for being too negative.
    That’s not my intent here, just flipping the coin over.

    1. CathyR, I’m going to agree with the “time is critical to some” aspect of your post. It is to me as well, and I never seem to have enough of it. I don’t have a family to tend to either (unless you count my cat!), and I work in the legal field in a capacity (litigation) where project can get incredibly intense and rushed, and there’s a lot of critical thinking going on – I call it “brain exhaustion” by the end of the day, which then leads to body exhaustion. Add to that some health issues which cause tiredness, and I simply *do not* have the energy to devote to doing anything project-wise more than once.

      I also am a perfectionist like Kristi mentioned, and have been known to plan for something over such a length of time that I end up losing any enthusiasm for the project and have been know to sometimes forget what my original intent was in the first place! A great example of that last bit is buying component parts for, say, a sewing project, and coming across them later and having *no clue* what I intended to use them for, which ends up being a terrific waste of money. I guess that last bit would be better managed if I was more organized … !

  21. Oh I so needed to hear the bit about planning going on, and on, and on, and on… and never getting to the doing!!

    Come Monday I will be ‘doing’ now that the planning is out of the way. 🙂

  22. I love your stencilled wall and the outlining you did. Something grows me off about the “boxes of stripes” between your hallway doors. I’d also like to see the black picture frames in something softer…maybe brushed gold. I know every room should have a touch of black but it seems too much. That’s just me though. Your work is marvelous and the sweat equity you’ve put into your house is really paying off. You inspire me. Thanks

  23. Thanks for your insight. It all makes sense to me! I have been going back and searching your entries hoping somewhere in there you had mentioned what program you use when you are creating your “mocked” up photos with design intentions and ideas. I would like to try it out. Can you tell me what it is?

  24. I love how honest you are. I too am not afraid of taking a risk. Because if you do mess up or end up not liking it, it’s just paint, all it takes is a little time. I do a lot of different projects around the house, cakes too, and people always ask me when I find the time. It helps that my husband works nights, so I have the evenings to get things done, but also, I prioritize what I want to get done. Thanks for all the inspiration!! Keep it up!

  25. Thanks for this! I’m thinking of going with a coral color in my kitchen but my friend said she thinks it’d be too many different colors going on. Well, there’s only one way to know for sure, isn’t there? I totally agree on the whole time thing. I have friends who count their time into the cost of a project they’re doing as a hobby (like sewing). I don’t consider my time with that because it’s something I enjoy doing so for me it’s hobby time. My whole family (aside from my daughter) can be the same way with perfectionism and doing so much planning and dreaming that we’re afraid to take action. I really get worried seeing it in my 5 year old. Time to work on that as a family!

  26. Scared is what I was when I thought I should paint the dining room in my really old house a certain shade of maroon. I mean paint the WHOLE room that color, walls, ceiling leaving only the woodwork, doors, wainscot and fireplace surround in their original darkish faux wood painted color.

    Questions from others: aren’t you afraid the room will be too dark?

    Yes.

    Afraid it will look like a cave?

    Yes.

    Aren’t you afraid that/of/if…????

    Yes, yes and yes.

    But I am doing it anyway.

    It’s just paint, but paint applied by a painter and it was not cheap, so that scared me the most. All that money down the tubes if I hated the outcome of what I was planning.

    It is fabulous. All the naysayers are amazed. I’m amazed!

    Follow your instincts, follow your heart. Just paint it!

  27. Hi Kristi. I love this post only because I was talking to my friend the other day exactly about this topic, lack of confidence to diy. I have always loved the idea of diy and have never had the confidence due to the old adage “what if I get it wrong” but your post puts everything in perspective. Thank you, it definitely does make me want to jump into one of my list of projects that I’ve saved on to Pinterest.