C.O.P. (Cleaning, Organizing, Purging) — The One Thing That’s Robbing Me Of My Peace
Alright, y’all. I’m going to get real with you today. I have been in a bit of a funk lately. I just can’t seem to get my head into the game. I’m not excited about my home projects. Life in general seems to wear me out. I get irritated every time I have to cook a meal, and I’d rather just grab a to-go meal from a restaurant and bring it home for us. And I’d rather just spend my days sitting at my desk, checked out of my own life and watching other people online live theirs as I scroll Instagram or Facebook or YouTube.
I know that sounds a little heavy. It’s not depression. I don’t feel depressed. More accurately, I’m just completely unmotivated. I don’t think I realized just how frustrated and unmotivated I’ve been feeling lately until a friend asked me last night how my projects were going and what I was working on, and my immediate response was something like, “Just the same ‘ole stuff. I’m just tired, and I wish I could just retire.” We talked a bit more about that, and then I got in my car and drove home. And on the way home, I thought to myself, “Do I really wish I could retire?“
The answer is no. That’s not it. After all, if I were to retire, how would my life look any different than it does today? As a general rule (i.e., when I’m not in a funk), I’m not the kind of person to sit still for long. So if I were to retire, I’d be spending my days working on projects around the house. That’s just who I am, and that’s what I enjoy doing. And if I’m working on fun projects and getting things done, I’d want to share them with people. And I would want to share them here…with you!
So on my short drive home, I realized very quickly that the issue isn’t that I want to retire and spend my days sitting at my desk scrolling Instagram. That doesn’t sound like a fulfilling life to me at all. And yet, I’ve definitely been in a slump lately where that’s all I want to do. So I had to figure out why. Why am I lacking motivation lately? Why does everything feel like such a monumental task to me? Why would I rather just check out, sit at my desk, and watch other people live their lives as I scroll social media rather than living my own?
So last night when I got home, still in a funk and feeling that low-key-but-constant sense of frustration and irritation that I haven’t been able to shake lately, I gave myself permission to sit at my desk and scroll social media until bedtime, but I told myself that would be the last time. I was determined to get up this morning with a renewed attitude and a newfound motivation to get things done even if I had to fake it until I genuinely felt it.
Well, I happened to come across a YouTube channel that caught my attention. The channel is called Organized Chaos and the woman’s name is Audrey. The algorithm brought me to one of her YouTube shorts about how she keeps her house clean and organized. She seemed relatable and her tips seemed doable. So I clicked over to her channel and continued watching her shorts. I don’t know how many I watched, but I watched a whole lot of them, and I was feeling very inspired. I just kept thinking to myself, “THAT is what I want. THAT is how I want my house to feel. Clean, organized, and everything in its space.”
So I woke up this morning, determined to make myself feel inspired and motivated even if I had to fake it, and as soon as I walked into my kitchen, I felt overwhelmed and defeated. It was a cluttered mess with a sink piled full of dishes and dirty countertops, and that’s when I realized a big source of my lack of motivation lately. It’s my kitchen sink.
I know this is going to sound ridiculous, but have you ever noticed that these cleaning and organizing websites, YouTube channels, books, etc., place such a focus on having a clean kitchen sink? As I was watching Audrey’s YouTube shorts, I realized that so much of her focus in her YouTube shorts was on keeping her kitchen sink clean. It’s been a very long time since I’ve read or watched anything about the Flylady method, but if I remember correctly, getting your kitchen sink clean was one of the very first steps, if not THE first step. I remember something about her saying that even if you have to stack dishes on the countertop, just do it and get your kitchen sink sparkly clean.
Well, there must be something to that — something that motivates us psychologically when we have a clean kitchen sink — because I haven’t been able to keep a clean kitchen sink in…well…months. And as strange as it sounds, I think that has been a huge part of my problem lately. I could count on one hand the number of days that I’ve had a clean kitchen sink in the last six months. Other than those few days, my kitchen sink is piled with dirty dishes. Case in point, this is my kitchen this morning.
And when it’s like that, everything else seems like such a struggle. Cooking meals goes from being a simple task to a frustrating struggle. Cleaning the kitchen countertops goes from a simple task to a frustrating struggle. Having a home that looks, feels, and smells clean starts to seem impossible, and then that contributes to my irritation and frustration.
So why has my sink looked like this for the most part of the last six months or so? Well, it started when the garbage disposal stopped working. I have a single basin sink, and my experience for the last 15+ years has been that when you have a single basin sink with a garbage disposal, sometimes I have to turn the garbage disposal on just to get plain water to drain. I don’t know why that is, but I had that issue in our condo with our single basin sink that had a garbage disposal, and I’ve had that issue ever since I did the kitchen remodel in this house and installed a single basin sink with a garbage disposal. So when the garbage disposal stopped working, even if I was very careful not to put food into the sink, I couldn’t even get plain water to drain properly.
I put “replace garbage disposal” on my to-do list and went about my business, working on my other projects, and dealing with an incredibly slow-draining sink for a few weeks. And since I don’t have a functioning dishwasher, trying to keep up with washing dishes with a very slow-draining sink that would get filled up with water and take hours to drain meant that I procrastinated on washing dishes. So those started to pile up. And getting the sink sparkly clean was out of the question since water would start to back up every time I turned the faucet on.
I finally got around to buying a new garbage disposal and installing it. I know I’ve mentioned several times that any kind of plumbing is my absolute least favorite thing to do, and that includes installing a new garbage disposal. And that’s why I put it off for several weeks. But I finally did it, and I finally had a properly functioning sink. So I could finally get caught up on all of the dishes and get my kitchen completely clean. It felt great…for about three weeks. And then, for some reason that I can’t even explain, that garbage disposal stopped working, and I was right back to the original problem — a slow-draining sink, dishes piling up, feeling like it was impossible to keep my kitchen clean.
At that point, I was so frustrated that I decided I was done with garbage disposals. I know they’re not good to have anyway, so I decided that I was going to go without. This time, I was going to remove the garbage disposal altogether and redo the plumbing underneath the sink so that it was just a normal drain.
So I finally got around to doing that (again, spending my time and energy doing plumbing, which I just can’t stand), and I thought that would be the solution to my problem. No garbage disposal, no problems, right? Things should work properly now, and I’d finally be able to get caught up on my dishes, get my kitchen clean, and then keep it clean.
Nope. I realized very quickly that having a single basin sink with one drain and no garbage disposal creates a huge problem. As much as I try to scrape everything from all of our plates and dishes before putting them in the sink, it seems like the smallest amount of food getting caught in the strainer once again causes the water to start filling the sink and the sink to drain slowly.
But I think the biggest problem is that the plumbing underneath the sink is all wrong since I no longer have a garbage disposal. I thought it would be as simple as removing the garbage disposal and connecting the drain and the existing pipe with one additional pipe in place of the garbage disposal, but now I think I’ve created another problem in that I have too much pipe under the sink through which the water has to travel in order to drain. So once again, trying to wash dishes was incredibly frustrating, and trying to keep a clean kitchen sink feels impossible.
And that’s where I am today. Every day I wake up to a kitchen sink full of dirty dishes and a feeling of dread at trying to get them clean because the water just won’t drain. And then I’m left with a sink full of dirty water that leaves my sink dirty and grimy once it finally drains. So for the last few months, I’ve hated being in my kitchen. I get frustrated every time I have to try to cook a meal. I get irritated that I can’t keep a clean kitchen.
Obviously, I just need to call a plumber to fix everything for me and get my kitchen in proper working order again. As strange as it sounds, I really do believe that dealing with this stupid kitchen sink issue for the last few months has robbed me of my peace and my motivation lately. When I feel like I can’t have a clean, organized, fresh-smelling home, no matter how many other projects I get done, I begin to feel defeated and have zero motivation. There’s definitely something to the Flylady method. It all starts with the kitchen sink.
You’re probably asking, “Why haven’t you already called a plumber?” I guess I was trying to convince myself that I could wait to buy a new sink and get all of this sorted out until I’m ready to redo the kitchen, which I plan to do next year. I want a double basin sink from now on. No more single basin sinks for me. And the challenge is that for now, I need it to be a drop-in sink since that’s what works with my concrete countertops. But when I redo our kitchen and I’m finally able to get rid of these concrete countertops, I want an undermount sink. I didn’t want to spend money on a new drop-in sink now and then have to purchase yet another undermount sink in the (hopefully somewhat near) future. So I was trying to convince myself to “just hang in there” for a while longer. But I realize now that this isn’t something I can keep putting off. I need an efficient, properly functioning kitchen, and that starts with a functioning kitchen sink. And I need it now.
And not only does that include a properly functioning sink, but it also includes a new dishwasher. I’m fully back on board with a dishwasher, so I need to replace our broken one. That’s another thing I was trying to hold off on until I get to our kitchen redo, but I think that also needs to be done now.
There’s simply no reason that washing dishes needs to be so mentally draining and frustrating. And there’s no reason that cooking a simple meal needs to feel like a monumental chore. And there’s no reason that having a clean kitchen should feel like an unobtainable goal. And yet, for six months now (maybe longer), that has been my challenge. I didn’t realize until I came across Audrey’s YouTube channel and watched all of those shorts, and then woke up to my own messy kitchen this morning that I’ve been living with this low-key-but-constant sense of irritation and frustration for a while now, and it’s because of my kitchen. It’s draining me and robbing me of my peace and motivation. So I’m determined to put a stop to that this weekend, starting with buying a new kitchen sink and calling the plumber.
Addicted 2 Decorating is where I share my DIY and decorating journey as I remodel and decorate the 1948 fixer upper that my husband, Matt, and I bought in 2013. Matt has M.S. and is unable to do physical work, so I do the majority of the work on the house by myself. You can learn more about me here.
Maybe you need to just break the job of doing dishes up into smaller jobs? Don’t load the sink with dishes, only the ones that you plan on washing right then. That way you can get to the strainer and empty it as you are washing.
I hear you on all of this. I’m in an old house and the kitchen sink drains into a stack and that stack gets plugged from time to time. I need to install a cleanout on the stack. But in the meantime, if I use too much water at a time, it gets backed up in the stack and then comes out of the washing machine drain pipe and ends up on my basement floor. Thats what is happening right now. So I have to be careful to only wash a few dishes at a time.
My motivation is about as low as yours right now.
It’s Thursday. Go to Home Depot and buy a sink and dishwasher today. Call the plumber now and have him come out tomorrow. We can do without a blog post tomorrow if you get some peace of mind Friday rather than next week. It’s funny (or maybe not so funny) how a clean house/kitchen can affect your mental state and attitude. I know after I clean house I just sit and appreciate the cleanliness. I’m sorry you have been in a funk but really glad you figured it out. In my book coming across that YouTube channel wasn’t an algorithm it was a God thing.
Go buy a dishpan for the interim. Set it in one side of the empty sink. Fill it with soapy water and wash your dishes there. All the gook will stay in the dishpan and the drain will stay clear as you rinse the clean dishes in the other half of the sink. That’s how my mom did it with her single basin sink. She threw the flatware in first and the drinking glasses on top of that. She washed all that first since it had the least gunk on it. Then the plates and finally the pans. Worked like a charm!
Years ago, we used to have large dish pans and you could put your dirty dishes in that and put it in the cupboard under your sink until you had time to do the dishes. So even though you had dirty dishes, no one saw them. Also, I have a three basin sink that I love! I have had it for twenty years. The basin in the middle is smaller and has the garburator in the middle basin. I could not be without a garburator. And I also love a boiling water dispenser. You will get it all worked out, you always do. Love following you
I’m the weirdo that likes to wash dishes. I have a brand new dishwasher since 2020 and have only used it a handful of times. But I do let my dishes dry in the top tray after I’ve washed them by hand. So weird! lol!!!However, I totally understand your frustration and I really hope the plumbing issue is not something major. Just get it done and take back your life! I truly enjoy your blog and always read you but rarely comment. I even enjoy reading others comments too which is also WEIRD! But hopefully the good kind of weird. Kindred spirits… Have a great day and wonderful weekend Kristy!
Absolutely call a plumber TODAY! A clean, organized kitchen is a priority for me to make everything seem calm. I have a dishwasher, but seldom use it. I wash as I go….use a plate – wash it. And I put the kitchen “to bed” every night so I wake up to a clean kitchen. It’s the best way to start the day.
I like to put everything to soak at night, then wash and/or put things in the dishwasher while the tea brews…Either way, I think having a habit for dealing with the daily dishes makes the process less onerous.
I have had a double sink for 20 years and have the same problem with it draining and needing to turn on disposal. I also call it sink jengo when it’s all stacked. At 80 years and just hubby and me it shouldn’t be such a problem. But it is.
Your sink isn’t the issue it’s the way the drain and pipes are run. Have a plumber come by to look at that, trust me a new sink will not solve your problem. From your friendly plumber
Agree! Buying a new sink, disposal and/or dishwasher is not going to solve the problem. Get a plumber to figure it out. Then wait to get the new stuff when you do the redo.
It does sound like a venting issue…we had that and the wasps had built nests in the vent pipe, almost completely closing it.
I absolutely get it. I had a similar issue with laundry when I had to go to the laundry mat. I ended up with a laundry list (no put intended) of obstacles that made that chore excruciating! From not having quarters (before they had change machines) Every payday, I had hubby get rolls of quarters…to putting clothes away, which I rectified by limiting the amount of clothingtho what fit in the drawers/storage we had. Every other part to going to the mat, folding, etc…was just a change of perspective. It taught me a life lesson, that I can joyfully do all things and if Im not, I do just what you have decided…address what is keeping me from that.
Seriously not a criticism of people who do this but for the life of me I don’t understand why people load the sink and counters full of dishes. Why not load it directly into the dishwasher immediately after scraping? The waste of time retouching every dirty dish and mental anguish is beyond my comprehension. I believe I read you didn’t want or need the washer as it’s just the two of you. I don’t have one. I wash what I can while I’m tending to the cooking but if I had that many dishes/pans to wash I would certainly use it even if I ran it half full. We don’t have a disposal either and I’ve only had to snake it once in 7 years because of coagulated oil you should be fine. Again sorry if my frustration offends anybody as we all have are own ways of dealing or not dealing with things.
As I mentioned in the post, our dishwasher doesn’t work. It’s broken. It hasn’t worked in a very long time.
Breathe in…Breathe out. You’ve got this. It’s the little things in life that sometimes hang us out to dry. And I get the frustration about the kitchen redo, but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and have that work around so life can continue on.
Cheers to you and Matt!
I cook every night and learned long ago that I can’t cook with dirty dishes in sink and on counter. Rule in our house is dishes go in dishwasher, not the sink. New dishwashers are so efficient that we just scrape into garbage can, then put in dishwasher. They actually clean better with unrinsed dishes. Because they use much less water than handwashing, I don’t feel guilty if I run a partial load. The dishwasher is run every night, the last thing I do before turning off the kitchen light. I bought a Kitchenaid three rack a couple years ago and love it. Other rule, dishwasher is emptied every morning while the coffee brews. My kitchen smells clean and fresh as a result of all this!
I’m glad you’ve identified the problem(s) and know what to do to go forward. Good for you! I’d certainly ask the plumber about your assumption that single basin is not good for draining.
I, too, follow Audrey. She really has some great points. I’ve also found it a good idea to time some of those annoying tasks and I usually realize it’s far less time than my brain told me it takes to complete. Sink and bed are two big things I will not compromise on. I find that doing a few dishes after each meal just helps me keep things in general clean. As long as I have a wet cloth, I might as well clean the counter and give a quick wipe to the microwave, etc. And it only takes a couple of minutes.
Good for you!
I am so happy you have figured out the root of this issue! I also wonder if you could possibly be in perimenopause? Please don’t take this the wrong way and I’m sorry if I’m overstepping but once I figured this out and saw my doctor it changed everything for me. I’m on the lowest dose of estrodiol in a patch that I change twice a week and the funk is gone, the irritability is gone and I feel more myself. Just a thought but you might want to have your doctor check your hormones and just make sure this is not an underlying issue.
I totally get how you’ve been feeling. We recently moved into a house with a lot of dated and dark finishes. I also recently retired. So now instead of being able to have carpets ripped out, new flooring installed, and new kitchen counters, I’m trying to learn to live with things and save up for each thing. It’s difficult to be motivated to vacuum stairs covered in brown carpet I hate, or to keep 20+ year old granite tile counters clean, or to kerp the bright red (yes, bright red!) kitchen sink clean. Its hard enough to keep everything clean and organized when you love a space let alone when you dont. Anyway I hope you are able to get past this and find your motivation again. We are all here pulling for you.
This hit home for me too! We have the original sinks in our master bath from 80s. They’re pitted, dull and just awful. I tell my Fella they’re worse than ‘truck stop sinks’!
I am 85 and I so look forward to reading your posts. I envy you and admire all your projects as these I can no longer do. I would miss your informative and entertaining updates.
I found many years ago that I could not go to bed at night with a messy kitchen. Using the dishwasher hides the clutter well and the quick cleanup is satisfying. It does become routine and so appreciated when you walk into that kitchen in the morning.
I’m 75 and we never go to bed until then kitchen is clean and other items are tiyded up. It is lovely to get up in the morning to a home that is neat. It really doesn’t take very long at night to accomplish this.
If you decide to get an interim sink, maybe check habitat restore instead of buying new—may give you a morale boost to support a good cause and save you money on a temporary fix . (The dustpan idea also sounds good—I want one too, now!)
I’m wondering why you said garbage disposals are not good to have. I have had single basin sinks with garbage disposals in the two houses we’ve owned over the last 47 years and never had a problem with the sink draining. I like a single basin because large pans fit in them to wash them. I also have always had a dishwasher. I rinse dishes and put them in the dishwasher until it’s full enough to run. I wash pots and pans by hand after each meal as they take up a lot of space in a dishwasher. I couldn’t cook with a sink full of dishes and wouldn’t want to wake up to a sink full of dishes to wash. Clutter makes me twitch! We’re all different!
They are not good for the environment, that’s what I came across. Never had one myself, they are not that common in the UK.
I’ve had waste disposal units in the past but they’re not much of a thing here in the UK as generally we prefer to compost organic waste (and have special garbage collections for it). But I absolutely could not live for more than a week without a dishwasher! I think your kitchen looked remarkably clean and tidy in the circumstances.
I love my single basin sink. It is deep too. I just use a basin with its’ own drain . No garbage disposal but I do have a countertop composter that I keep on my screened in porch.
Have you considered a dishwasher drawer to keep hand washing down?
My problem is the dish drainer, I hate it on the counter all the time. I need to find it a home
Like the plumber who commented earlier, it’s not the sink, it’s the pipes. Do yourself a favor, get a new dishwasher NOW. Call the plumber, get the piping mess straightened out and the dishwasher installed at the same time. The dishwasher will just transition to the new kitchen and you’ll have a clean sink and kitchen every day NOW.
I’m glad I read the comments first; it’s a great idea to do things in order. Call the plumber first and have the pipes looked at before impulsively buying a sink or dishwasher. Then you’ll know where you stand with kitchen issues. I’m also wondering why your focus is on redoing your kitchen so soon. You’ve said in previous posts you don’t cook much and to the majority of us it looks beautiful and functional. Fix the nonfunctional stuff and move on. Wouldn’t your money be better spent on the addition, the landscaping, or the storage area?
Hi Kristi,
I am so sorry that you are having this problem and feel the load of it. I to try to fix everything and do everything myself. So frustrating if I can’t.
I am not sure if you have a septic or are on city sewer. It could be your pipe near the septic tank has partially got clogged. In my ignorance, I used to clean paint brushes and paint pans in the sink. Eventually it caused a build up of paint around the pipe near the sewer opening. We had to open up where the pipe drains into the sewer and clean out the pipe. What a pain but it fixed the problem. Good Luck
Have you thought about taking a vacation from social media? And…. just do whatever you want to for a while?
Yes!! I totally get it. I was visiting a friend for a few days last week and found myself constantly doing the dishes. They don’t care if they pile up during the day but I always try to keep a clean sink. I couldn’t help myself. Then I realized that their drain wasn’t working well so I tried fixing that. Then I realized that their dishwasher was also wonky. My friend kept telling me that I didn’t have to do dishes, lol. I was sooo appreciative of my sink, disposal and dishwasher when I got home!