I Should Have Listened To Y’all
Well, y’all, the word of the day is frustration. (Also, frustrated and frustration.) You could probably turn this post into a drinking game and be completely sloshed by the end. But don’t. I’m not actually suggesting that. 😀
We started off this week with my mom and I having finished several days of back breaking work to clear out the stacks and stacks of hardwood flooring from the breakfast room so that I could get our temporary bedroom set up in there, and then to clear out the bedroom (including removing the two built-in closets) so that the work in that room could start bright and early Monday morning.
And now we’ve come to the end of the week — a week when the flooring and subfloor of the guest bedroom were supposed to be removed, vapor barrier installed, insulation installed, plumbing for the washer installed, and new subfloor installed so that I could start installing the new hardwood flooring — and this is all that’s been done.
I’m frustrated, to say the least. I understand that people get sick and have to deal with sick kids. I get that. I try to be gracious. But I can still be frustrated with the situation and with the lack of progress, and I am. Very frustrated.
Back when we bought this house and I began working on it, I did virtually everything myself simply because we didn’t have the money to hire people to do every little thing I didn’t want to do. As long as it wasn’t something major, like re-roofing the house, replacing the main sewer line, leveling the house, or replacing all of the old galvanized pipes with new PVC and PEX, then I’d do it myself.
I removed and rebuilt walls (with the help of my brother), installed new windows (also with the help of my brother), built cased openings in load-bearing walls, installed new drywall. I didn’t necessarily enjoy the process of doing all of that stuff (although I did enjoy the feeling of pride and accomplishment at tackling those things with my own hands), but I did them because I had to. We just simply didn’t have the luxury of hiring those things out.
But quite honestly, I also hated the idea of having to rely on others to do things for me when I was capable of doing them myself. I don’t like relying on other people because other people aren’t reliable. Other people don’t show up when they’re supposed to. They don’t call and let me know they’re not going to be here. They don’t listen when I say how I want things done. Lots of times, I have to go back and redo something that they didn’t do quite right. So I’ve always found it easier to just do it myself. My mom tells me that the first sentence I said as a child was, “Me do it meself!” And that has pretty much been my personality for my entire life.
But as time went on, and Matt and I have enjoyed more financial freedom, I’ve started hiring out more and more. But the result has been a mixed bag. Yes, it’s nice to not have to do the stuff I don’t really like to do. But there’s a definite trade-off when I hire out these jobs to other people. And this last week is a clear demonstration of that. It’s been an entire week of no progress when I know very well that I could have been in there removing the flooring and subfloor myself. And now I’m kicking myself for hiring out the job and being stalled for an entire week.
Of course, had I listened to some of you who encouraged me to start the work in the bedroom at the ceiling and work my way down, I could have been getting some work done. It does make more sense in my mind to start with the floor and get it finished since the sanding process is so incredibly messy and gets dust into every nook and cranny of the room. But just because there’s a preferred order to projects, that doesn’t mean that’s the only way to do it. And I, of all people, should know that. I’m the queen of doing projects out of order (or out of the generally accepted order) and still having things work out in the end.
So I should have listened. Once I decided to hire out those other jobs, I should have left the possibility open for me to start on the bedroom while that was going on, and to start at the top and work my way down. During this last week, I could have gotten the crown molding installed, walls repaired (i.e, repaired holes left by drywall anchors), walls primed, and possibly even the wallpaper installed. I was very adamant about doing the floor before the wallpaper so that the grasscloth doesn’t end up loaded down with dust from sanding the floor, but the walls can always be draped with plastic before I start the floors.
But because I was set in my ways, I now have hundreds of pounds of flooring that would need to be moved once again for me to start on the bedroom walls. Ugh. I’m so frustrated.
So I’m not really sure what to do at this point. Part of me thinks I should just chill, stop stressing about these rooms, and just let it happen when it happens. And in the meantime, I can find other projects to work on, like maybe finishing the skirting on the front porch, and then starting the skirting on my workshop.
But the other part of me thinks I should channel my frustration into moving those hundreds of pounds of flooring yet again and just get started on the crown molding and walls. The only place I can move those boxes is to the middle of the room. They have to stay inside the house (so I can’t move them to my workshop) because the wood has to stay acclimated to the house before I install it. And I’ve just run out of room anywhere else in the house.
Anyway, who knows at this point where I’ll channel my frustration and my energy this weekend. There are plenty of options, so surely I can find something that needs to be done and get something accomplished. It just may not be anything related to our bedroom suite, and that frustrates the heck out of me.
Addicted 2 Decorating is where I share my DIY and decorating journey as I remodel and decorate the 1948 fixer upper that my husband, Matt, and I bought in 2013. Matt has M.S. and is unable to do physical work, so I do the majority of the work on the house by myself. You can learn more about me here.
Do the other jobs, leave the hundreds of pounds of wood.
See you next week!
Definitely work on something else. Is your workshop finished (I know it’s cold now and maybe not the most fun time to be doing that)? Christmas shopping done? Find something(s) in that room you can start on without having to move the wood. It would definitely calm you down a bit to move it all (or wear you down anyway), but then having to re-do that would just get you annoyed. I can totally understand wanting to give it to somebody else to do. It’s a lot of hard work. I’m looking at prepping and painting 50 kitchen cabinets and their “framework”. I keep putting it off. It’s going to take me months to finish that job and I could pay someone who could probably finish it in 1-1/2 weeks.
We all feel your pain and have been there, it is so frustrating! But, I find with carpenters in a Reno, you’re just as glad to see them go as you are to see them come. Chin up, you’ll get there. Thanks for bringing us along. Even when nothing is happening. lol
Work on another project. Don’t waste time and energy moving all that wood. Pick something you can do quickly and get a feeling of satisfaction when it is complete. No one can help it when they get the flu. The last thing you want is for the contractors to come in still ill and for Matt or you to get ill. I know you are anxious and frustrated but channel that into something you can get some satisfaction completing.
It is awful to depend on others especially when you are paying them. With the holiday I’m sure people are thinking of Christmas and that expense so they will probably be there as soon as they can. In the meantime stop beating up on yourself, you will get gray hair and like me stress eat haha. Go do your front porch the accomplishment of finishing that will help relieve that stress and your porch will no longer be half done. Prayers for patience,
It may not be your plans, but it may be God’s plan for you. In all things give thanks—even when it’s hard! Someone said this to me one time so I thought I’d share it with you 😉
This!! I was just thinking this exact same thought. My out of state daughter spent hours for the Thanksgiving holiday sitting with a baby & hubby in a Kroger parking lot because of a broken truck. The other kiddos were spending time with Nana. I was very sad for her, however I
was giving thanks that maybe this was God’s way of protecting them. We can’t always know the reason why. It’s definitely difficult to have plans side tracked but we should always be accepting when they go array even if we don’t see the purpose or undstand why. I’m really sorry this week has been difficult & challenging for you. May your heart find peace. Best regards.
Gail, I couldn’t agree more. If you hadn’t had this enforced break, Kristi, maybe something would have happened that would have been seriously awful. Maybe God’s working on your patience! Give it time and you’ll see why this happened.
I’d love to see a post on how you organized all your tools and supplies in the studio. It would be interesting to get insight into your thought process for that. Did you put all similar supplies together (ie. all paint together) or zones for each type of project with all related supplies in that zone.
My organization is still in progress. But I’ll definitely share when it’s all finished!
Thanks!
You could plan and build your nightstands. Or do your headboard – you have a nice clean studio to use for that and it might be nice to work on something pretty.
My kitchen flooded on September 21 and I’m still waiting for the contractors to start. I’m told it won’t be until after the new year☹️
Patience is the key word….. lots of it.
Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry to hear that! That’s a crazy long time you’re having to wait. 🙁
Please think of it another way. This might have been a very fortunate miss, a backwards blessing. A narrow escape. They could have shown up in spite of having a sick household and jeopardized both Matt’s health and yours. The first week in January 2020 I recall very vividly feeling irate at a music magazine publisher who showed up at one of our shows and 2 seconds after HUGGING me she exclaimed she probably should have stayed home because she had a cold. Less than a week later I was dealing with Covid 19 which turned into long covid, which turned into a heart attack and two years worth of untreatable health issues.
WOW. That’s just awful. 🙁
Can you create something with wheels to stack the flooring on so it will be easier to move as needed? Maybe two of them to split the weight?
BTW, when I was quite young I would say, “I’ll do it my ‘elf.” Still that way today.
I echo everyone about getting some of the fairly easy small jobs done and out of the way. My experience, as others have also mentioned, is that often something that looks so unfortunate can turn out to have a silver lining that we certainly didn’t/couldn’t see on the front end of it.
If I were you, I’d play a game this weekend and see how many little projects I could knock off my list. All those little things that hang out in the back of your mind and you’re like “someday I’ll get to that” Now is the time!
I read through all the comments thus far and I just have to ask: Why is there a hole sawed into your floor? Did the plumbers show up to run the water lines for the washer?
Right now, I don’t have a scuffle hole to the crawl space. It used to be in the bedroom, but I didn’t want it in there anymore. So for now, there isn’t one. So on Monday when he needed to get a look at the plumbing pipes to see how and where the line for the washer was going to tie in, he had to cut a hole in the floor.
Oh Kristi I’m sorry you feel like a week has been wasted. I vote for the skirting project. The front yard is looking so wonderful after the driveway was poured and finishing the skirting on the house and workshop would make it easier to plant grass come springtime. The project might also keep you out of the house while the contractors are working.
I understand your frustration at the delay. Perhaps now while it’s cooler than the summer would be a good time to work on your porch skirting or other outdoor projects.
Why do you have to move the flooring again? Can’t you do all the other, whatever you were planning on doing, and do that wall last?
Not really. If I’m going to install crown molding, I want to do the whole room. If I’m going to hang the grasscloth wallpaper, I really need to start on that wall (specifically, in the very center of that wall).
I vote for the outside work. I’m assuming that even in Texas you won’t want to do much outside work December through February so why not tackle some of the stuff you’ve been wanting to do out there.
Please do not put up the grass cloth or wallpaper before sanding. While it may satisfy your need to work in that room, I’m pretty sure you will regret the dust that you may never fully get rid of on those finished surfaces.
Honestly for myself I’d be scared to death to have men in the rooms working with long boards and tools tearing things out with my new grass cloth up there. They could damage it so easily. I like the idea of working on the end tables and headboard in the studio tho.
I feel your pain! I am the same way. Our house flooded three months ago, and it has been an ever increasing frustration load with the exact same issues you talk about. I told my husband I wish I had just tiled the hallway myself because the so-called professional apparently didn’t know how to measure tile to keep it tight and tidy next to our threholds and doors (among other issues). I did a lot of the other work myself in restoring our home for the very same reasons you lay out. Again, I completely understand! Hopefully things will improve for you soon!
I’m so sorry to hear about your flooded house! What a horrible thing to have happen. 🙁 I hope it gets finished up soon. And there’s always such a tradeoff in hiring out jobs, right? It seems like it would be easier to just hand it over to someone else to do, but then there are delays, plus the fact that you notice every little thing you could have done better had you just done it yourself.
Kristi, I know you are disappointed but channel your energy somewhere else. No point in hurting yourself in some way trying to move flooring around again. Work on another project fir now.
I’m smiling, not laughing, because I had to learn the maxim of two steps forward, one step back…sigh. The number of steps clearly changes with the project. Like we couldn’t put in our pond on the farm during our downtime, which is winter into spring, because of too much rain. Then in July, we got the ground broken, trees out, and pond installed…ready for the punchline…it hasn’t rained since. Nothing measurable until late October, and that was a laugh. If you all need a drought, I’m your gal. I go out every day and stare at the $35K hole in the ground, praying for rain. After 16 moves in the Army, I learned another maxim, “handle it once”. Saves a lot of time and effort and your back.
There is always something else to be done as we are whisking our way into the holidays. Make a necklace, make some cookies, watch a Christmas movie and breathe…it’s all going to be alright. It always turns out right in the end.
Cheers!
Oh my! I pray that the $35K hole in your yard (that gave me a giggle 😀 ) gets filled with lots of rain water very soon!
“Unreliable “? Actually these workers are reliable – to their families! Just like you are 100% reliable to Matt. If you were not so fortunate to be a successful blogger and had to work outside the home, you would choose your family too!
There’s always more to the story that I didn’t share because I was trying to be gracious. But yes, unreliable is accurate.
Hey Kristi! Sorry things are delayed and I empathize with your frustration. We used a remediation co after damage in 2019 are now redoing messes. I was determined to finish half of our cottage before Thanksgiving. The necessary for holidays half (living room, kitchen & laundry room) Well we’ve worked so hard and I worked day & night until I ended up with a bug that has wiped me out for the past week. Crock pot soup for Thanksgiving! ☺️ I actually decided I “would work this weekend sick or not” and have it all ready for Christmas. This morning after my time with the Lord I was convicted that I was missing the point of this season. I was reminded that this setback is allowing me to “be still and know that HE is God” So just before reading your post today I decided that my husband, adult son & I are decorating for Christmas in the bedrooms half of our home and chilling out. I’ll calmly work on it when I’m well in the coming weeks and then we’ll bust it in January. After my Carolina girl way of making a short story long 😄 I say give yourself some grace Kristi. You have accomplished SO much this year! As well as taking loving care of Matt. Together y’all made wise decisions for your home and have exciting things on the horizon. You even tackled things not even on your list yet! I suggest that you leave the wood where it is, work on some other things for now, shop, read, spend some time snuggling with your sweet hubby, plan and dream, sit with Lord, sip warm beverages, and thank God for loving us so much that He directs and reorders our steps. Oh and tell the crew to stay away until they’re well! You and Matt don’t need their germs. Blessings to you both!!!
I would do those outside projects while the weather is a bit warmer. Also, You don’t want to give critters (or cats) a place to live under your new workshop. The front porch is important since it is a reflection of your interior, and with the new driveway, you could focus on making it all look great. If your guy should bug out on you for another week, it is time to find a different, more reliable person to do the job. BTW, did you ever put something on the stubs of that annoying shrub that won’t die? Drill some holes into it and fill with stump killer!
I didn’t because I can’t find it. 😀 They ground the stump down so much (probably at least 12 inches below the ground) that I can’t even tell where it was. If I start seeing it again, I’ll put a stump killer on it.
I think you’d be better off just finding something else to focus on for now. There are probably many things you have planned and I’m sure that your time could be spent doing some of the smaller projects, shopping for products you might need, making something you were planning on making later or really anything to take your focus away from this.
My feeling and some of what I live by is this: When and if it’s supposed to happen, it will happen. Maybe there’s a reason why this wasn’t the time for that to be done. I usually have faith that things will work out the way they’re supposed to. Yes, it’s frustrating but I keep telling myself that and it really does help.
Good luck and I hope you find something to focus on and that the workers heal and get the work done as soon as they can.
I have discovered that moving dollies from Harbor Freight that have the high weight limit and are reasonably priced are perfect for this type of situation. Pile heavy piles of supplies on them, and then huge obstruction becomes mobile and much easier to move around if needed. Even if you don’t think you’ll need to move them, the option is there until you’re 100% done with the piles of whatever.
Kristi, I’m older (75) and still am an l do it myself girl. When l hit the level of frustration you seem to be, l step back. I read a book or watch a movie. Anything to close my items of frustration to the back of my mind. No, it’s not always easy. The next day l leave the house. I go to Home Depot or Lowes and walk the whole store. Anything to get away from the house. This refreshes my mind and a solution comes to what next. It’s always worked for me. I just used it with a quilt l’m working on and lve used it with my paintings. Just a suggestion. Hope it gives you some inspiration. It’s just a hick-up. It will happen when it should.
Chill. Chill. Five years from now will your timeline matter? NO. So it doesn’t matter now.
Is the contractor going to be able to start to work this coming Monday? Hopefully he will. I know how frustrating it is when things don’t workout as we plan them.
Deep breaths. Several times. Rest a little. It never hurts to rest. Do something nice for someone else. There will be blessings in that.
Hope next week is better.
He texted yesterday and said he’ll be able to start on Monday. I hope that happens.
This is a good time to build winter quarters for the feral(ish) kitty cats.
You’re right! It’s starting to get cold at night.
So a thing I’ve learned/told when estimating a project. Estimate the time to do the work. As if you are doing it with focused. Then multiply that by a factor for overhead and relative skill/detail level. Overhead is time of no power, sick, life, and necessary breaks. That typically starts at 2x or more for a highly coordinated series of tasks. For skill is if it is detailed or a limited skill another 2x. Or less if it’s super simple, very accessible skill. It can be less than one. You use and communicate that time frame. It is an achievable goal that you can exceed expectations by finishing early, but it’s a goal you can plan a more complicated schedule it even if it seems too long. Which minimizes analysis paralysis at times. This allows you to not dwell on the details and enjoy being finished.
Instead of being angry and frustrated, why don’t you take some flowers and chicken soup over to the sick family. I’m sure they didn’t get sick deliberately.
I think the porch and shop are good projects to work on now since it is perfect weather in Texas for it. If you wait on that then in a few weeks it will be too cold and then you will be in the middle of renovating the bedroom/closet/laundry when spring hits and you won’t want to stop to do those before summer hits.