Happy Friday, y’all! Today, I just need to get something off my chest. It’s something that has consumed my thoughts for the last four weeks or so.
I want to talk about the lost art of being nice.
I don’t know if people in general really are becoming meaner and ruder and more obnoxious, or if I’m just becoming more aware of it recently, but I’m so incredibly bothered with how absolutely, downright rude and mean so many people are when they get behind their computer screen.
Sure, I’ve always known that those people were out there. All you have to do is spend 5 minutes reading comments on random YouTube videos to see that those people are everywhere. But somehow, this decorating/design/diy niche that I’m in has always felt safer, like we’re in our own little bubble, separated from all of the rude, obnoxious people out there. And in our bubble, sweet, encouraging comments flow freely. Generosity is abundant. Constructive criticism is given with kindness and grace. At least that’s how it has always felt for me.
But sadly, those people have found us. And frankly, I’m not enjoying their company in the least.
Here are some examples of what I’m talking about…
Hometalk then shared the picture of Becca’s living room on their Facebook page. Here’s a sampling of the comments:
Ugly rug and those chair coverings!! ugh…look like tied on hospital gowns!! Needs color!
really??? cozy? nothing does it here. I want a different decorator
What’s with the butt-ugly covers on the chairs?
Love those sheets on the chairs. The whole space has ghostly feel. Cool and colder. The marshmallow is so cute. That dead animal on the floor is smashing. Great look if you are dead and need a place to hang out until you cross over. Thanks again for remembering even the dead.
I could go on and on. For the record, that last comment was made by a woman named Matilda. And yes, I’m calling her out by name, because almost every single comment that she makes on Hometalk posts is negative. Here’s a comment she left on someone else’s project…
What a mess but them the rest of the place looks to be a mess too. Shame on you.
She doesn’t have anything nice to say about anything! She must be one of the most absolutely miserable people on earth. You know what they say. “Hurting people hurt people.” And Matilda does her very best at slinging insults at every chance she gets.
But sadly, Matilda isn’t alone. She’s joined by hoards of other people just like her.
Even KariAnne from Thistlewood Farms isn’t immune to the rude comments from those people, and we all know how impeccable KariAnne’s taste is, right? I saw her kitchen posted on Hometalk’s Facebook page, with the question asked, “What do you love most about this farmhouse kitchen?”
Some of the comments that followed:
The bench doesnt match too dark, something with the table l don’t care for and the chandeliers dont belong and look tacky. Sorry l wouldn’t want it.
Thank goodness someone else has to clean this stark, cold, uninviting kitchen. Windows are good, Floor is nice, but other than that, they can keep it. It reminds me of a sterile hospital.
Nothing…hate it. too bland. Couldn’t you have put in a high end stove…maybe red. The white appliances are just plain ugly.
NOTHING. Too much white, Not grante, hate the so called ” Island”, and hate the dining table and benches.. I like support around my table, NOT benches like your out on a farm picnic..the ONLY thing I DO like is the floors..
Do you see what I’m talking about here? Why are these comments necessary? They’re just downright rude!
And I’ve definitely not been shielded from such comments. I can’t remember what project I posted a few months back, but one of the very first comments was simply…
I mean, really?! What the heck?
And it’s not just happening on these huge Facebook pages or the massive sites. These things seem to be becoming more common on the regular blogs and Facebook pages. Just the other day, someone commented on one of my bathroom update posts saying, “I really dislike the wood countertop and color of the vanity…”
And I just wanted to say, “And?! Am I supposed to redo my entire bathroom for you?!”
I mean, really…what in the world is the point of leaving a comment like that? Obviously, I like my bathroom! I like my vanity color! And it’s my bathroom!! I just don’t understand what people hope to accomplish with comments like that. If you don’t like wood countertops or the color of my vanity, that’s perfectly fine. Don’t use them in your own house!!
And I know that someone is probably thinking, “Well, Kristi, don’t you critique the HGTV Dream Home each January? And you don’t always have kind things to say about it. Isn’t that the same thing?”
I guess to me, it’s not the same. There’s a day and night difference between a large corporation spending millions of dollars every year to build and decorate a home, which they advertise as a “Dream Home”, and regular homeowner pouring her heart and hard work into decorating her own home on a reasonable budget.
I see things all the time on other blogs that I’m not particularly fond of, whether it’s a room design, a crafty project, or something in between. But I could never imagine leaving a hurtful, mean-spirited comment about it. If I can’t find something nice or encouraging to say, I simply move on.
I guess I’m just wondering…
What the heck has happened to us as a society? Where did we go so wrong?
And honestly, my concern really isn’t for myself or the other bloggers who receive these comments. I feel like I have to say that because there will always be those who say, “Well, if you can’t take it, then don’t post your pictures online!”
That’s not really the point I’m trying to make. We bloggers are tough. We have thick skins. And, best of all, we have a pretty close-knit community with tons of support and encouragement for each other. So my concern isn’t for us.
My concern really is for society as a whole, and I just see this rampant rude behavior as evidence of our steep decline. Every time I see one of those people leaving their slimy trail of yuck behind them everywhere they go, I wonder to myself, “What kind of kids are those jerks raising?” And then when I think to myself that the kids of those jerks are our future…well…it frightens me.
Anyway, this has just been eating at me for weeks now, and I needed to get it off my chest.
The funny thing is that the people who really need to read this probably never will. Those of you who comment on my blog regularly belong in the bubble. I do enjoy your company. I just wish we could find the leak in the bubble and seal it up with us inside, and those people on the outside. 🙂
Addicted 2 Decorating is where I share my DIY and decorating journey as I remodel and decorate the 1948 fixer upper that my husband, Matt, and I bought in 2013. Matt has M.S. and is unable to do physical work, so I do the majority of the work on the house by myself. You can learn more about me here.