Bathroom Remodel Day 27 — The Emotional Breakdown

Sometimes I wish I could live in one of those home remodeling t.v. shows, where everything — from purchasing the house to having it completely remodeled and furnished — is wrapped up in a neat little bow in the span of an hour.  Oh sure, they run into problems.  The HVAC system is completely shot and needs to be replaced, or there’s a serious drainage problem in the back yard that’s causing flooding in the house.  But with one phone call it’s all taken care of, and fifteen minutes later, the house is finished and everyone is tickled pink with the results.

The majority of those shows give such an unrealistic view of what remodeling is actually like, whether you’re using a contractor or doing it yourself.  Real life remodeling isn’t nearly so tidy or painless.  Bringing an old house that has fallen into disrepair back to life isn’t nearly so romantic in real life as it appears on those shows.  The process isn’t always fun and exciting.  Sometimes it’s difficult, and frustrating, and emotionally draining, and overwhelming, and leaves me slumped over my table saw bawling my eyes out.  That’s what happened last night.

It all just came crashing down on me.  I knew I had been “on the brink” for a few days now.  I’ve been working non-stop on this bathroom, because I desperately want to get it to a point where I can at least use the shower.  It’s really been grating on me to have that shower out-of-commission, because I refuse to use the shower in the other bathroom (when I turned the water on in that tub the other day, the water was literally brownish red from rust), so I’ve been going to my mom’s house to shower.  That’s getting old.

And then yesterday — the 27th day that this remodel has been “in progress,” and this bathroom has been out-of-commission — I still hadn’t gotten to any of the pretty stuff.  After working on it again for an entire day, all I had to show for it was a few sanded and re-mudded drywall seams, and a glowing red tub surround.

Bathtub surround with RedGard waterproofing membrane

I was determined that by the end of the day, I’d at least begin on a pretty project.  Just something.  Even just a tiny little beginning of something pretty would make me feel better.

I decided what project I wanted to work on, and needed to use my new table saw for it.

*Sidenote:  I have a table saw now!  Remember that DIY contest a few weeks back?  Well, I won, thanks to all of you!  I won a $250 gift card to Home Depot, which I promptly spent on this bathroom, probably on something really exciting like drywall, cement board, mortar, drywall mud, and screws.  And then I got a $250 gift card to Ryobi Tools, which I used to get myself two tools that I’ve been wanting and needing for a very long time now — a table saw and a router.  So thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!  🙂

I hadn’t used my table saw yet, so it was still packed in the box that it came with.  I lugged it to the sunroom, opened the box, and tried to get it out of the box.  It wouldn’t budge.  I pulled and pried, and finally got it out of the box only to realize that it wasn’t so easy as plugging it in and using it.  I tried to put the stand together, but one of the plastic parts was broken, so the stand wouldn’t go together.  I tried to set the saw up, but I had a heck of a time getting all of the styrofoam packaging out from around the blade.  I finally got it out by breaking it apart into small pieces, but by that time, I was incredibly frustrated.

Then I needed to put the blade guard on.  I got out the instruction manual (I HATE reading instruction manuals!!) and read the instructions, written in microscopic print and illustrated with awful pictures, on how to install the blade guard, but I just couldn’t get it.  No matter what I tried, I couldn’t get the blade guard to go on properly.  I read and re-read the instructions, looked at the pictures countless times, and tried it exactly as it was described, and it just wouldn’t work.

I was so unbelievably frustrated at that point.  Poor Matt didn’t know what had happened when I stormed into the bedroom, where he was lying down in bed, yelling and ranting and flailing my arms in the air.  He tried to calm me down, but he’s learned that when I get that frustrated, it’s best to just let me get it out.

I headed back into the sunroom to try again.  I re-read the directions, looked again at the pictures, and tried about three more times to get that blade guard on.  It still didn’t work.  And that’s when I really lost it.

I slumped over that stupid table saw, and all of the frustration and exhaustion of the last few days…weeks…came bubbling the surface.  All of my irritation at still working on the “bones” of this bathroom remodel and not yet working on the pretty stuff.  All of my immense frustration at the current state of my house, with everything covered in dust, my hallway packed full of tools and construction debris, and my entire entryway filled with new bathroom items on one side, and bagged up debris on the other, creating a barely usable path from the music room to the front door.  All of my exhaustion from at least three weeks of not being able to sleep well because my arms fall asleep so easily from nerve issues caused by extreme physical exertion.  All of my annoyance at constantly being covered head to toe with dust, and not having a usable shower at my own house. All of my frustration at the weather, turning cold and rainy again, while I’ve got a huge, sucking hole in the hallway ceiling pulling out any bit of heat our little space heaters are putting out.

In that moment, it all came out.  I bawled my eyes out, in loud, wailing sobs, for a good ten minutes. (Matt claims it was more like 30 minutes.)

It’s amazing how cleansing and therapeutic a good, long cry can be.  When I finished, I wiped the tears from my eyes, picked up that instruction manual, gave it one more read, and installed the blade guard on my saw on the first try.

But I decided to put the tools and work aside for the night.  I walked back into the bedroom, where Matt asked me, “Are you alright now?”  I told him I felt better — not great, but better — and I guess I had just needed a good, long cry.  He said, “Kristi, I haven’t heard you cry like that since your dad died.”  He’s probably right, and my dad died four months after Matt and I got married.  We’ve been married for 12 1/2 years.  I’m just not much of a crier.  I’ll throw temper tantrums, yell, throw things (never at anyone, by the way, but I will throw things that make me mad, like when I couldn’t get my circular saw to cut anything and I finally got so frustrated that I chucked that piece of junk across my front porch onto the concrete), but I don’t really cry.  But last night, it’s exactly what I needed.  I felt so much better.  Not great, but better.

I put work and tools aside for the evening, and had dinner with Matt.  Then I relaxed for a bit, watched a show, and went to bed.

And I slept like a baby last night, getting my first good night’s sleep in at least three weeks.  Everything looks much better to me this morning.

I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything.  I’ve always wanted to buy an old fixer upper and remodel it myself.  I wished it, and now I have it.  But it’s nothing like those t.v. shows.  Nothing gets wrapped up in a nice, tidy bow in the span of an hour. That would be nice, but it’s just not reality.



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  1. As we say in the South, bless your heart! If anybody deserves a good cry, it’s you! I am not much of a crier either any more, usually only happens when I get exhausted and stressed beyond what my nerves can take. It has taken me years to learn when to know my limits, step back, and let things go. Don’t work yourself to the point of injury, that won’t be good for either you or Matt. Focus on getting the bathroom finished, clean up the mess it has made, and then maybe take a break from the big projects for a while so that you can rest both physically and emotionally. Hopefully, you will get to do some pretty stuff soon and it will be all smooth sailing from here on out.

  2. Awwww! That’s what real life is about – the good, the bad, and the ugly! Thanks for putting it out there, Kristi! Hugs!!!

  3. Oh Kristi! Thank you for keeping it real! I can only imagine the frustration that you are going through. I’m glad you took a break; it sounds like just what you needed.

    You amaze me on a daily basis with all that you accomplish, and I KNOW you will persevere and in no time, you will have a beautiful jewel of a home that you will be so PROUD of!

    You go girl!!

  4. Kristi, I can feel your pain. I’m living through the same disaster zone. I’m sleeping in the den, there’s a toilet sitting in the middle of my bedroom and who knows which bin my winter clothes are in. Hang in there girl! Maybe by June we will both have new bathrooms and something to brag about!!

  5. YOU should have a reality/makeover show. Those TV makeovers shows are so unreal and what you are doing is REAL. I always look forward to reading about your progress and ‘adventures’ and that’s because you keep it real and you don’t look as if you waved a magic wand and ‘voila’. Keep on going. What you are achieving bit by bit is remarkable.
    I’m rooting for you.

  6. I just want to give you a big hug! Judy’s right: Real life is the good, the bad and the ugly and those reality makeover shows always come up with a great ending in an hour. Reading your blog gives us hope in a real way that projects work out, not some fake way where the money is free-flowing and helping hands and time are aplenty. Thanks for sharing your work!

  7. The reason we need to cry like that sometimes is that your tears release a lot of hormones when they are tears due to intense feelings. Crying actually makes you feel better because your body is getting rid of the chemicals that are making you feel badly! They have studied tears like yours and tears from, say, cutting an onion, and the make-up of the tears is very different. So, the best thing you can do when feeling overwhelmed is letting the tears out – it helps your body heal!!!!

    1. Tears wash away all the bad stuff, like rain washes away dust from the flowers. Then, all new again. I’m a big crier. I used to never cry until I understood the relief my weeping gave me. I don’t cry on purpose, you understand. But when I’m overwhelmed, I don’t hold it in anymore. I even cry when I am happy!!

  8. I so appreciate your willingness to share your frustrations and vulnerabilities with those who follow your remodeling adventures. Your honesty is refreshing and reflects what many of us feel but are afraid to share. Sometimes the strongest people are the ones who are willing to share the moments when they are not feeling so strong.

  9. I have rheumatoid autoimmune disease, which is a lot like MS (which my sister has) & can be a crippling bitch or not so bad, depending on the day. And I do what YOU do.

    But I do it much slower and the planning that has to go into everything, the snails pace I have to do it at is ridiculous. I have to ensure my hubby is around if it’s a day with a heavy lift (I have a damaged back too), I plan ahead to take prednisone leading up to & during the project. I have a wake up routine involving Tramadol and Salonpas patches and yoga stretches and a good brekky, I have to get into various braces for wrist, back, knees, elbows and many of my tools are modified to help me use them safely (I modify them). And I have lots of tricks, and organization methods to lessen the physical & emotional stress and exertion.
    So, when you feel crappy, have a good cry, I do, it does help 🙂 and remember, it’s not a TV show, no, but I look at you and your blog and YOU go at the pace of the impossible TV shows for ME. I’m always astonished how fast you work and what you get done… But you’re only one person, same as I’m only one disabled person and we have to be realistic about our pace.
    So just go girl, but do it at your own pace. That’s the hardest thing I had to learn.

  10. If it makes you feel any better, I have 2 pretty prominent rooms in my house (dining room, main entry mudroom, and bathroom) that have an un-sanded first coat of drywall compound on the walls simply because I *hate* mudding and suck at it. I have a third room with bits of glue and wallpaper on the walls because I’m avoiding the messy task of sanding it off (it won’t come off with water or steam…they used real wallpaper paste that I can’t seem to get anything to dissolve). And we’re going on YEARS, not months with these unfinished rooms. 🙂 None of us really like to work on the “bones” stuff. It’s no fun.

    I’ve probably said this before, but one thing that helps me feel better about the state of things is to always make a point of corralling all the tools and garbage at the end of every work day. Any tools get either put away or neatly placed in a corner in plastic bins or milk crates. Debris gets thrown away and the floors swept or vacuumed so it doesn’t track through the house. That way, if I do have to live with it for a few days (or months), stuff isn’t in my way. And if I’m working the next day, I can start fresh without a bunch of junk hanging around underfoot. And I can find my tools.

  11. Look at it this way. You are doing what you love, but doing ANYTHING 24/7 will eventually take its toll. And physical exhaustion will just break you down. You needed a break and your body took care of that for you!

    Also, those TV shows that wrap it up in one weekend/hour long episode… Don’t you always wonder how long that quickie construction lasts? I do. You are a fanatic about doing things the right way. It may take you longer, on your own, but we all know your work will last because you are so thorough.

    Good luck, kiddo. We’re all rooting for you. And remember, it’s gonna be mah-velous!!!!

  12. you are awesome, thank you for constantly putting yourself out there and being real. Sometimes you just need to let all those emotions out!

  13. I had been reading your bathroom caper with so much worry. I’m glad you had a crying spell. Take care of yourself. I did what you are doing now for decades in three homes. My lungs are shot. Take it easy.

  14. Kristi,


    Close your eyes, take a deep breath. Feel all of us out here supporting you, rooting for you, sending you good wishes and love.

    You are the best!

  15. Poor you – I din’t even realise that you’ve already been working on that bathroom for such a long period! Even if there’s not yet pretty stuff, it’s been so interesting that I earnestly didn’t notice. I would love to come over and help (and learn some bits and pieces along the way) but I’m too far away in Germany, I fear ;o. So let me cheer you on via e-mail and pat you on the back virtually: You are doing great and your bathroom will soon be lovely! And the pretty stuff is not far away any more. But do take breaks and enjoy life in between – it’s the here and now that counts!

  16. Thanks for keeping it real Kristi! I (and all your readers) completely understand losing it over an instruction manual . . not really sure who they make sense to but they’re challenging to be sure. Good for you in letting it all out and giving yourself a break that evening rather than “powering” through despite your exhaustion. And I LOVE the fact that the “pretty stuff” is your girly treat when remodeling .. . I SO get that! Onward and upward my friend . . .this bathroom is going to be fantastic.

  17. Awwww, Kristi, you are such a hero to me! And even heroes have their moments when they need to re-group. I would love to be able to give you a big hug and then a high five. I’m glad you got the frustration out of your system and now have a fresh emotional outlook. Don’t let unrealistic expectations drag you down. Just keep plugging away a little at a time and soon this will all be done. Thanks for sharing and keeping it real.

    Onward and Upward!

  18. I felt your frustration as you described “the meltdown” and wanted to cry with you…..been there before, there now with my kitchen. A good cry is like wiping the slate clean and starting over again refreshed. You are making great progress and can’t wait to seen the end results!

  19. OK, Kristi – Now I know for sure you are HUMAN! Each day as I read your blog, I just could not believe what you had accomplished by yourself. I was beginning to think that this could not be real. – Today’s post made me feel that, yes, you are a real super human being that is incredibly talented, with limitless abilities and real feelings – a real person. Now, walk through your house, take note of all the wonderful things you have accomplished, pat yourself on the back, give yourself an “attagirl” high five, take a few deep breaths and you will feel that you are the awesome person that we your readers feel about you!! Sending hugs your way.

  20. Well! Cleansed and ready to go!!! It happens. Now we know you are human. We bought the same saw!!!! Same problem. Take the day off, too.

  21. Don’t forget that you have that phone number, and the cotton pickin’ wood butcher is at the other end of it!! He’s a GREAT helper and equipment putter-to-getherer….
    Blessings to you,

  22. Is it possible your particular table saw was a lemon and maybe you could take it back to the store and get a replacement?

    What you are going through really DOES remind me of the DIY Channel show “Renovation Realities.” Hang in there and now that you WILL finish this eventually.

  23. I’m glad you got all of that frustration out of your body/mind/soul. A good cry and a good night’s sleep will completely change the way you approach this project. I’m sure this week will be very productive and ‘pretty’. Step-by-step. Day-by-day. You will get there and be so proud of all your hard work.

  24. Kristi, I felt so bad for you reading today’s entry. We all love to see your blogs each day and we learn so much from your experiences….. But.. I hope that us, your audience are not putting undue pressure on you to achieve. it is ok with me for one, if you slow down and not put such pressure on yourself. I love to get even the simplest of updates in my mail box. I just love going along for the ride. The joy is in the journey. You are doing a great job!

  25. Sorry you had such a crappy day yesterday! A good cry can always help release some of the frustration. You are an exceptional person with exceptional talent. You WILL get this bathroom done and you’ll appreciate it 1000X more than someone who had someone else do it for them. 🙂 We’re here with you! Feel free to vent anytime.

    And as for the painful arms at night. Try a brace. Here’s an axample of one. I have carpal tunnel and get the same painful feeling at night. These braces somehow hold your arm a particular way that prevents the pain which helps with the sleeplessness. They’re not pretty, that’s for sure. But you have to do what you have to do, right?!

    Hope you have a better day today! Can’t wait to see the rest of your progress.

  26. I saw a pic in a magazine last night of your green cupboards with the gold trim. They talked about the firm who originated it closed in 1980’s. I noticed it immediately as your cupboards. If you had not done it in real life for the rest of us to see, we could not have appreciated it. Please rest assured that you are moving at lightening speed! I have lived in my home for 25 years and there is not one room finished. Just as we got things torn apart one of us lost our job and we did not have the funds to complete anything. I would be so grateful to have one room finished. So proud of you for all you have done.

  27. You inspire us all! I wish I had the knowledge and strength and ideas like you!! I have low thyroid and it causes carpal tunnel and numbness and other things. Dr. Says low b6. Try that. My house still sits with plywood floors and mortar from where I tore up tile months ago. Be proud of yourself.

  28. You probably already know this but when I have trouble visualizing instructions (I hate reading them also), I go to YouTube. Often watching someone else show me what I am attempting to accomplish is helpful. And there are vids for almost everything.
    Glad you powered through it and achieved your goal. You are amazing.

    1. How true Kismet. You tube videos and internet is always a good place to find out how to do stuff. That’s how I figured out my chain saw blade was on backward.
      It sounds like you got your table saw figured out, Kristi ,after you got away from the frustration for awhile. Everything good now?

  29. Bless your heart ❤️ If you lived anywhere close to me dear you would have a friend for life. I would definitely be there to give you a helping hand. I love your determination. I have some of that myself, I think you have more. I admire you tremoudously. Hugs to you.

  30. thank you for sharing.

    Kristi I’m not a DIYer, I’m a wish I were DIYer, I’ve never really been taught anything, never went to school for a trade or anything. I read others journeys in hopes of learning something, anything. You teach but much more then that you inspire. You dear one inspire hope, imagination, creativity & so much more. Thank you so much for sharing your inspiration & the willingness to be oh so real on so many levels. Congratulations on winning, it was my pleasure to cast a vote in your favor!
    Every time I’m in Denton you come to mind & I wish we could meet.
    I’ll send prayers your way that your creativity would be all the more blessed, your strength would be restored & your joy uplifted by Gods peace & love.

  31. This is a post I simply have to reply to….”I don’t have any issues”….whatever they were before I read your post…I can get through it…Hugs…

  32. Whew, am I glad to hear about your crying spell. See, I would have had a major meltdown waaaayyyyy before now, if I’d been through this bathroom remodel. Nothing, I mean nothing, ever goes according to my plans (maybe I should be making different plans, or no plans at all?) and there’s always a hitch somewhere. I was beginning to think you were SuperWoman or something. So good to hear you’re just…normal. 🙂

  33. Sending a virtual hug and many warm thoughts your way. We all have those meltdowns at some point and I’m glad you are feeling better.

  34. I don’t usually comment – but I just wanted to say that I absolutely adore reading your blog for THIS VERY REASON. You are so real and honest and just tell us about your life. I love that – and so many blogs have strayed from that these days now that they “hit it big”.

    I’m so sorry you have had a rough time lately… the things you do all by yourself are truly amazing. I don’t have a very DIY-enthused husband, so I tend to think I can’t DIY. Your posts remind me that even lil short girls can totally attack a project (without or without help). Thanks for the inspiration, and the honesty! 🙂

  35. We are alot alike in that aspect.I take a whole mountain on my back before I break down and cry.And by the way you wouldnt want a house done in 24 hours its just not who you are!!Great job on the house!!

  36. I love your blog. Your crying jag reminded me of the one I had over 20 years ago. We had a house fire that started in the kitchen burning some of the cupboards and covering every surface with a layer of soot. We had 4 kids and the clean up and redoing everything was overwhelming which I handled (I thought ) just fine. But one day it looked like the sink wasn’t going to fit in the new cupboards( it did eventually, just fine) and I had a meltdown. I walked out of the house, into the cornfield (live on a farm, obviously) and laid down on the ground and bawled my eyes out. …

    Tear therapy.

  37. Decorating and Remodeling are worlds apart aren’t they? I feel your pain and frustration through your writing and can relate to it in my own life. I’m a disabled DIYer and it takes me weeks between the pain to finish even the simplest things. There isn’t one room in my house that’s done and pretty because my house is so small that emptying one room to work fills up all the other rooms with “stuff”. I’m dealing with it okay because I can keep my eye on the prize. What is driving me crazy are the relatives who mean well but push me in ways that frustrate me to no end. They can’t understand that they take on projects with the help of the whole family involved and get things done in a weekend yet expect me to do the same though I work alone and deal with multiple health issues at the same time. I just want to scream at them to BACK OFF! Glad you had a good cry and that you feel better. Sometimes you just have to walk away from the trouble spots and give it a rest. Usually when you come back things work better for some reason. Pretty will be here soon for you!

  38. I don’t cry either. I throw stuff–not at people–but as far as I can throw…One thing I have learned in all my remodeling processes, and I follow this rule with every project I do—Clean up the area when I am finished for the day. I know it’s a lot more work, but, I sweep the floor or run the shop vac, pick up scraps, wipe surfaces, haul out all debris, and put all tools in one spot–every night at ‘quitin’ time.’ I also cut wood in the garage so the sawdust doesn’t fly everywhere. That way, when I get up in the morning–it’s a fresh start and I know where everything is. Sometimes “The Stuff” just takes over and I won’t let it. Good luck–it will all be worth it.

      1. As soon as I read that comment I knew you weren’t going to put off replying to it. 🙂 No lectures this time. Replying to HamRTime may have felt almost as good as the crying did. 🙂 I love you, Kristi. And I’m so proud of you.

  39. Please don’t get discouraged. You are so amazingly talented and you work harder than 10 men. I am many years older than you but my admiration for you is boundless. If I had known at your age where my true passion was I would have wanted to do just what you are doing. I was working and raising my children and found out late in life how much I wanted to know how to do the things you do. I’m a bit too late, but I can watch you from afar and cheer you on. Cry if you must, but keep on going. I love your tenacity.

  40. Crying can be very useful – and sometimes you really need to cry for a long time and yet you can’t cry because you are not the crying type and it all gets bottled up and it sucks… I’m glad you got it all out.

    On the practical side of things, maybe you need to spend some time cleaning and tidying the after-bath mess when its’ renovation is done… just do the “make presentable” thing you wanted to do for a while – but not with fixing things, just tidying things up. Maybe make that tool cart we suggested a few weeks ago?

    Blog-wise, maybe we could have some sort of event on the blog while you do the tidying up? I remember some time quite a while back you had a few readers’ questions or something – some design dilemmas. Maybe we could run something like that for a week or two? I’m sure we could send you photos – heck I could send you a photo/plan of a particular area I don’t know what to do with! It would certainly keep the blog very busy, and your readers happy. And maybe it would make you inspired, since it would be some fresh challenges with different conditions for you to see – kinda reset your mind. What do you think?

  41. Oh,honey!
    I feel your pain: Says currently paralyzed remodeler. I’ve been there for months now. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed with our ideas that we jump ahead to the pretty stuff and end up staring at that pile while the wall studs stare at us in condendamtion. Hugs!!! Glad you had your “good cleansing cry”.

  42. I’ve heard it said that on the home reno shows they leave out the part where you are curled up in the fetal position crying in the corner. It’s so true. When we did our big reno I think I went through every emotion there is. The one thing I really took away from it was perseverance. I’d like to say I learned perseverance but it was more like I experienced it. I’m not sure if perseverance is something that is learned, but I hope so. Don’t forget to cut yourself some slack. 🙂 It’s a huge project that you’ve taken on. One day it will be done and then you’ll never, ever be without a shower again.

  43. Oh. Kristi…I’m so sorry…but highly creative people sometimes just have to stop and vent. Tears are very therapeutic…so when you need to…just let them flow. It will reset your emotional thermostat…..and get you back to your old creative self. Wishing you the very best todays and always, Suz

  44. We bought our house back in 1974 and have been remodeling ever since. Hold your head up high and keep doing such a good job!

  45. Good Morning Kirsti,
    It’s early Wednesday Morning down here in Australia. And reading your day of melt down. I feel for you, yes these home renovation shows don’t show the real occurrences.
    You are such a beautiful little Dynamite. Not afraid to get in boots and all doing all the hard labour and finishing everything with so much detail and perfection.
    And the silly box and its contents were simply what was needed for you to crash. The limit was reached and a good night sleep has placed you in a better mood. Take a smaller step today and some more time out. Have a better dayxxxxx

  46. When I get frustrated, I avoid the project. Its why my floors took so long in my last house. I was in AZ tile is highly desired for its cooling properties and I love the appearance of a good tile job. My house had tile but most were loose or broken, when I pulled them up I found out why. I had the weirdest flooring anyone has ever seen and no one to this day knows what it is or how it was made. Its 4 inches thick of concrete cut into perfect 8×8 squares. Then the top is covered with some sort of paint that makes all the tiles look exactly alike, and nothing sticks to it, no tile person could tell me what it was or get anything to stick to it. I could only get it out if I wanted to drop my floors 6″ below the level of the bedrooms, kitchen and half the hallway (Did I mention it went half down the hall then stopped? What the hell?). I had t give up on my tile dream, it took some time for me to come to terms with that. Finally went with floating wood floors, solved the problem but took me 3 months to be okay with it enough that I would buy the floors.

  47. I went through the EXACT SAME THING with my Ryobi table saw. It’s a great tool, but getting that blade guard on was absolutely infuriating! The manual definitely needs improvement. I’m glad you got it all out- sometimes the only thing that can make you feel better is one of those long hideous sobs. I hope things start looking brighter soon!

  48. I am not surprised at all that this stress finally came to a head. I told you yesterday that you deserved some kind of award. I have never seen a more capable, hard working woman in my life. You DESERVED every tear you shed! I absolutely love your tenacity, go-getterness (I know, I made up that word.) and perseverance. You do your Mama proud and we are all rooting for you. Can’t wait to see the “pretties”! YOU GO GIRL!!!! Yea Kristi!

  49. Hi Kristi, your hissy fit was well deserved and a long time coming. There is nothing like a good, full out cry. It is such a huge release. I do it once a month or so. When my kids were small, I would not want to do that because I did not want to frighten them. I would say to Phil (my husband), I have to run out for about fifteen minutes. Hold down the fort. I would get in the car and drive to a favorite spot with a great view, get out of the car and let out a scream that could break the sound barrier. It always made me feel better. Then it would be back to my day, with the elephant off my chest. Do what you have to find piece, you will find your way. Are the red walls the water block stuff? Pretty cool.Blessings, esp on the eve of Ash Wednesday.

  50. Just like soap operas (where no one looks like that, talks like that, dresses like that, or acts like that), the HGTV and DIY shows are the same thing– they’re shows. They’re entertainment. They have very little to do with reality. Anyone who has lived through a remodel knows that it’s long, frustrating, messy, and dusty.

    Now, the real concern– you should see a doctor about those arms. Nerve damage is not something to be taken lightly. Maybe you can get some physical therapy to help you? Good luck.

  51. HAng in there dear!!!!!!!!!!
    You are doing everything fabulously!!!!!!
    We love and support you sooooooo much!
    Huggers dear one!!!,

  52. Kristi, I don’t know how you do it. Really, truly. I get so exhausted and run over by my day job that I come home unable to do anything to try to fix things up around here. I’ve been home almost an hour now and had a quick bite to eat and want to just fall into bed.

    How you find the energy to do all that you do is beyond me. Truly, really. I’d like to come give you a hug and give you a hand (if I just didn’t want to crawl into bed instead).

    It’s true. Real life is nothing like ANY of the shows we see on TV. The fix-it shows or the dramas. We live the REAL life and it’s a tough one. Go look at your beautiful kitchen and give yourself a pat on the back. Your bathroom will soon be as astoundingly beautiful!!!

  53. You are amazing….So, a cry is what it took to put you back together….good for you. That’s better than drinking a fifth of vodka….maybe. And, the smart-a who left the tacky message…..I’m sure that didn’t phase you. Rock on Girl!!!!

  54. Oh dear! They certainly should have remodeling shows include the tears and frustration. I know I’ve shed more than a few on various small household projects – nothing like the scale of what you do. Hell, if I tried to do half of what you were doing I’d have cried once every fifteen minutes and started drinking.

    Perhaps all this hard labor shook up a few things more than dust. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing, and it will all settle again. Think how beautiful this room is going to be! You’ll be working on the pretty stuff soon. And on an unrelated note, you’ve inspired me to get off my butt and get working on some of my own small home beautification projects. If you can build a stellar kitchen, I can sew a few throw pillows, right?

  55. WOW!
    Glad you got it out. I empathize. I give you credit. You just keep going . . . like the Energizer Bunny! Well, after a brief interruption. You rock!

  56. Hi kristi, Sorry you are having a hard time. But you really need to stop and rest your arms. Nerve damage is not something to take lightly.

    Take a breather, blog about other things while giving your arms a rest. Throw up some plastic in the tub enclosure and grab a shower. Clean your house. Do small projects. Organize your space and tools. But pls rest those arms.

  57. ………and yet when you finish ,it will be incredibly beautiful as always. I hate green and when you finished your kitchen it was breathtakingly beautiful . Only you could convince me green was a good color.