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My First Building Project Video! (And Thoughts On Vulnerability And Insecurity)

You guys, I did it! My first building project video! Many of you have been asking me for building project videos for years now, so when I built the second work table for my studio, I took a video of the whole process for you. You can see it here…

And be sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel! Videos are a new thing for me, but it’s possible that I might start sharing some videos on my YouTube channel that won’t be shared on the blog.

Anyway y’all, this building project video was a huge step for me. I’ve been blogging for over 12 years now, and only recently have I become a little bit comfortable with showing pictures of myself on my blog. Then when I decided to start doing videos, the thought of being in front of the camera was awful to me, so I tried to keep it to video of my hands, or only shoulders and face shots of myself.

The thought of full-body video — this body that has been my biggest enemy and my biggest insecurity for the last two decades — being shown on a video for all the world to see was absolutely terrifying to me. And I knew that if I ever did start doing building project videos, I would have to be on them. And it wouldn’t just be me from the shoulders up. It would be ALL of me.

How to build a huge craft table - video

Putting yourself out there on a blog and sharing your ideas, your projects, your successes and failures, is daunting enough. Well, it used to be. It’s not anymore. It took me a few years of blogging before I became secure enough in my DIY abilities to just put it all out there, including my failures, and own them. It’s even more daunting when you realize that there are places on this world wide web where mean-spirited people gather for the specific purpose of gossiping about, tearing down, and ridiculing bloggers. It took me another few years to realize that those people’s opinions didn’t matter to me at all, and reading them served absolutely no positive purpose in my life.

And yet, the last thing I wanted to do was put my biggest insecurity on display. You can tell yourself that other people’s opinions don’t matter, and in general, mean and insulting opinions from people online really don’t matter to me anymore. But when it comes to my biggest insecurity — my weight — I just knew that reading anything negative about that would cut me to the bone. But why was I worried? I don’t read that stuff anymore, and haven’t in years. And as far as my regular readers go, y’all are lovely and encouraging people.

But just the very thought that it could be out there somewhere on some corner of the internet, or that I might be faced with it in a YouTube comment (where people find it so easy to say vile things while sitting behind a screen that they’d never say to a person’s face) scared me enough to keep myself hidden and not give fodder to anyone who might find delight in pointing out and laughing about my biggest insecurity.

But you know what? I finally realized that I give those people (which, to a large extent, are people who I’ve made up in my head — some unknown “them”) way too much power over my life. And I’ve given my negative thoughts and insecurity way too much power over my life as well. Yes, I struggle with my weight. No, I’m not comfortable with what I see reflected in a full-length mirror. But darn it, I have things I want to share with the world, and I’m tired of letting those insecurities hold me back.

As hard as it may be, I’m determined to STOP letting insecurity hold me back. I’m determined to put myself out there, to share my ideas, to share my skills, and to share my successes and failures. I’m determined to get in front of the camera more, and to stop hiding behind a camera where it seems safe.

And you know what? Those who find delight in gossiping about, ridiculing, and laughing at others really don’t matter. They are their own worst enemies, and that has nothing to do with me.

So from now on, I won’t give “them” (whether real or imagined) power over my life anymore. And I’ll silence that voice in my head that continually reinforces my insecurities, and replace it with positive thoughts. And most of all, I’m determined to push all of my insecurities aside and put myself out there — ALL of me from now on.

 

 

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80 Comments

  1. You should be so proud of yourself for overcoming fears you’ve held for so long!! And when your body feels like your biggest enemy and insecurity, remember all the amazing AWESOME things your body has done! Caring for your husband, keeping you with your family for DECADES, you wouldn’t have your professional success without that body! You were able to rescue your adorable pup with your body. It’s so easy to focus on what you want to change or wish were different, but don’t forget to celebrate the workhorse you body is…even if it doesn’t always feel that way.

    1. JenW, I agree wholeheartedly with your comments. Kristi is an amazing woman and I am so grateful for her blog and tutorials.

      1. I also agree, she is very pretty and super talented. I can only dream of doing one hundredth of what she puts out. Her intellect is amazing, too.

    1. 💖💖💖😢💖

      (In case emojis don’t show up in this format, that’s a bunch of hearts and and a teary-eyed face.)

      Thanks!

  2. Kristi – I salute you for keeping “them” and “their opinions” in their rightful place.

    You are daring greatly. And that is the bravest, most honest, most vulnerable thing any of us can ever hope to accomplish.

    Thank you for this post!

  3. We love every bit of you Kristi, you are an amazing person, woman a DIY specialist. We love your ideas, challenges and the solutions you find along the way. Never let the naysayers get in the way of all the love for you here. Thanks for sharing all your hard work…

    1. I feel sorry for people who have not learned that beauty truly comes from within. There are people who are every size and shape under the sun who are beautiful and others who are not beautiful because of who they are inside. Judgemental people are some of the least attractive. You, Kristi , are gorgeous! And your body is your temple, I’m glad you know what a blessing it is to be healthy and to be able to do all the amazing things you are able to do. You could not be more beautiful.

  4. Go girl! What you don’t seem to realize is that you truly are motivation and inspiration for the rest of us in the same boat! WE love you and that’s all that matters! I have enjoyed your blog for the last six years and in that time we have been through some stuff! Keep on keeping on and I will go along for the splendid ride!!!

  5. I like that you are real and normal. It goes to show “those” people that just because you aren’t thin or tall, and struggle with your weight, it doesn’t mean AT ALL that you are lazy or stupid or that you are sedentary. 🙄 (This is coming from a fellow diy-er who is short and overweight. 😁). I think it’s really great that you are determined to become comfortable filming yourself.

  6. I’d like to see just one of “those people” try to do even one project that you do. You are amazing! Don’t ever forget!

  7. Loving your body isn’t believing your body looks good; it is knowing your body is good, regardless of how it looks.
    It isn’t thinking you are beautiful; it is knowing you are more than beautiful.
    It is understanding that your body is an instrument for your use, not an ornament to be admired.

    Not my words, but I love to share them!

    1. Really some of the best words regarding body image that I have ever heard or read. Thank you for sharing them with Kristi and the rest of us!

      Kristi – YOU. GO. GIRL.

    2. Thanks for sharing these words – amazing insight we should read more often!! Kristi, you are such a source for inspiration and it’s wonderful to see your process, makes it even clearer than your (very clear) blog posts. Thank you for the video!!

  8. You did a wonderful job in front of the camera! You may have been quaking in your skin, but I’m so happy for you. I hope this helps cement the idea in your head, that you ARE a great DIYer, you have a talent to share with people, you do have many people out here who’ve followed you for a long time who are truly grateful for your innovative ideas and the things it takes to do a job well done! You are a great teacher. I take my hat off to you.

  9. YAY! and you encourage us all with your journey! It’s refreshing and liberating and teaching us all to love ourselves more! you go, Kristi!!

  10. I don’t know one person that wouldn’t love those tables. I’ve got a workshop finally being built next spring, and I’m stealing your idea!

  11. Great video Kristi! And you are looking terrific as well, but Please wear some safety glasses when you are using those power tools!

  12. Outstanding !! I’ve been reading your blog for years. Videos show a side of your personality & talent that does not come thru in writing. E.g . You have an excellent voice quality and delivery. A very appealing voice tone. The delivery is genuine and inviting. I like the high level project overview. Just the right amount of video details and explanation to want to learn more to do our own build. Well done !

  13. WOW what a great video. Clear instructions, video of all steps – makes me think I could do this!
    You looked great, content was just right and your voice is perfect for the video. You clearly described what you did and your tone was perfect. You are a natural and in a world where DIY videos sometimes have too much stuff and are poorly edited – you nailed it (see what I did there). Your video was just right – confident (regardless of what you felt on the inside!) and inspiring to the rest of us.
    Thank yo so much for what you do.

  14. Kristi, Great job on the video, and I love your new tables. Really looking forward to more.
    By the way, you look great and your mom is adorable. (miss mine!) Keep them coming!

  15. That video was fantastic! I’m always so impressed by everything you do and this is no exception. Why as women are we are worst critic? I’ve never heard a man say “don’t take my picture, I’m overweight/don’t look good/etc!

  16. THIS! This post is very inspiring to some of us who feel the exact same way. You do an amazing job explaining the process and look great doing it. Your loyal followers could care less what you look like because you are so awesome and give the best content. However, kudos to you for conquering your fear. After this, I can only imagine what you will give us now. Excited to see more of you in the future. You rock!

    1. Exactly what I was going to say. I don’t give a fig what you look like below the neck (or above, but it’s so pretty to see!) Truth be told, I doubt anyone is perfection in everyones’ eyes. I’m 5’4″ and 190 or so, which isn’t slender, but I’m okay with it. I am grateful to you for your talents that you share; Happy that you share your home and some of your life with us; And blessed that you are sometimes trusting of us to be vulnerable with your feelings. And isn’t it kind of rotten that most men don’t have this issue?

  17. I’m soo happy for you and proud of you! You have influenced me in soo many good ways. And this is another to add to the list.

  18. We all love that you share your creativity and talents with us. You are so lovely and genuine and truly wonderful on both sides of the camera!

  19. Kristi, you are beautiful inside and out, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! And I love your video, it shows every step in a way that we can all understand. Kudos to a job well done! Your studio is going to be fabulous-

  20. Loved your video! You are so talented and I feel that I could build that table with the instructions you gave. You have a wonderful voice.

  21. Go Kristi!! This blog gave me goosebumps, girl. I just want to say you are spectacular. I appreciate your courage. Maybe I can be braver too. Thank you!

  22. I can’t imagine how hard it is to put yourself out there like that, but most of those meannies are just that. Too many of us who love what you do just take it in and don’t always think to comment. We just learn and enjoy. Try to remember there are so many more of us that them. 🙂

    1. I hear myself in a recording and think holy crap who has that terrible voice….no, it can’t be me, yet it is. So I try to keep my talking to a minimum.

  23. Well said, Kristi!! I’m new to your amazing blog here but just wanted to say that you are absolutely an inspiration! You go girl!! 🙂

  24. This was so awesome! I share the same insecurities and am so proud of you and for you. Being able to watch you as you work changes everything for me. Your process is much more clear. Thank you for sharing.

  25. You are absolutely amazing and I am encouraged to move beyond my own insecurities to just live fully. Thank you for your post and courage. I adore your blog and am so grateful for your video.

  26. Kristi, I sure know where you are coming from. I never have any pictures of me online, except a few from a very long time ago when I looked halfway presentable. I have tried to lose weight for me, so that people wouldn’t look and say behind my back, look how fat she is, you’d think she would do something about it. Well, you know what? I just don’t care what people think about me anymore. I have heard it all. It hurt really bad, but I just don’t care anymore. You are beautiful inside and outside and don’t let anyone tell you any different. If someone does say something (hiding behind their keyboard), just consider the source and move on. I even had a boss say once he didn’t like fat people, I was thinking then why did you hire me?? You did a great, stupendous, wonderful, excellent job and I love everything you do. Keep on keepin on girl!

  27. Kristi, I haven’t watch the video yet and haven’t read all the comments. Just want to say I have a very high regard for you and I love you and your blog, and want to thank you for all the ideas and knowledge you share with us.

  28. Honestly speaking, there is not one person on this planet that doesn’t feel that way about themselves! Too thin, too thick, wrinkles, curly/straight hair, you get the pic.
    Now for another well known fact; YOU ARE ONE AMAZING KIND OF WOMAN!!! You are beyond talented, self taught, gorgeous woman! You are forthcoming with all your knowledge, your teaching ability is something all “teachers” should aspire too. Your are respected, LOVED by your hubby Matt, adored and loved by your public, I could go on but I won’t.
    You are amazing, your smile infectious, adored by all of us.
    DONT EVER let anyone have that much power over you again, EVER!

  29. I don’t know what I expected when I heard your voice, but you came across as intelligent, confidant, knowledgeable and beautiful, and you are all of that! Wonderful to “see” you.

  30. The video was wonderful. I enjoyed it so much! You look beautiful and your voice is made to do videos! But I don’t love you for any of that, I love you for sharing your projects with us. I enjoy your blog so much. You have given me countless hours of enjoyment and you continue to amaze me. I don’t care what anyone weighs, I care how they treat people. You are a good person and you feel like family to me. Take care!

  31. Excellent video Kristi. You look great, your voice is great, and your instructions, explaining the process was great. Well done. I thoroughly enjoyed the video and feel like I could built that after seeing it. Bravo Kristi; so proud of you and your achievements!!!

  32. I think you are very cute, very talented and very brave. I know the website you mean, and it is utterly dreadful. Ignore!

  33. Past my bed time but couldn’t take my eyes off this absolutely one of the best diy videos I’ve seen. Yours is the only blog I read every word of and now we get awesome videos!!

  34. All this time I thought you were my hero for the super human things you can do with power tools and your amazing creativity but you just took it to a whole new level.

  35. Awesome job on the video!! The editing and instructions are great. I felt like I built it along with you. You’re amazing!!

  36. The video is so helpful. Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
    By the way, I consider you a role model for me and for my teen daughters. You are making an impact greater than you realize. I’ve told my daughters that one of my dream trips is to travel to meet you and learn from you when you open your studio to classes.

  37. You (and your mom) are cute as a button. No reason for you to feel insecure whatsoever. “They” are miserable and can only feel relevant when that misery is spread. Even though you’re cute as a button, you are so much more. Look how many women you have inspired to DIY.

  38. WOW Kristi!
    Bravo! It was so nice to actually see you (and your mom!) Thank you!
    A little confused by why that scrap piece of mdf (?) was needed when you were attaching the legs, but the rest of the video was fantastic! Thanks again for making things so clear – you’re a master at that!

    1. Kristi awesome post! You have more of us in your creative camp then you could imagine. You are an amazing lady!

  39. Kristi, I watched a bit of the video and I just had to come to the comments to say YOU LOOK GOOOOOODDDDDD! You are such a pretty pretty lady, and you have the best voice ever for narration and instruction, very clear, concise, intelligent sounding and you make things look and sound easy. I know what it’s like to be insecure with one’s body, but honestly I think you think you look bigger than you really do, even on film which we know adds visual pounds. I think you look and sound fantastic, and am ever so impressed, as I always am, with your skills and ability to make beautiful EVERYTHING for your home! Please keep making videos, this one was awesome and I for one am so happy to finally “see” you!

    Kimberly

  40. Kristi, I know you said that you “don’t read that stuff anymore” I just hope that you do read all of these positive comments on here stating how you have impacted our lives…!! FANTASTIC video…and I agree with everyone about your voice and instruction to details are spot on..!! It was nice “seeing” you and your mom. Please continue with the videos.. LOVE YOUR WORK….as always..!!

    1. Yep, I read every single comment that is left on my blog, and on my Facebook page. 🙂 I don’t always have time to respond, but I do read them.

  41. Kristi – I don’t know if you will read this or not but wanted to leave a comment anyway. I began to type a trite comment about the world needing more people like you in it, then realized that isn’t what I meant at all. The world needs YOU and I want to thank you for showing up!! We can build any kind of online life we want, real or fake. Too many people show only a persona. I’ve followed your blog for years and have only commented a few times. I appreciate your willingness to share your work and yourself honestly. I admire your willingness to be true to your own style. I happen to share your love of color at a time when colorless modern farmhouse has been the trend. (And I live in a real farm house!). But the thing I admire most is the way you have shared your personal journey through life. You make the world around you beautiful through your work and sharing openly.

  42. Imagination is a wonderful gift since it expands the mind. That can also edge over into creating a perception that distorts reality. Forget the size measurements and numbers, Cookie. There is some exaggeration going on in your head. You are one cute girl in every aspect I can think of—a one of a kind and a kind of a wonder. You continue to amaze us all.

    Kristi, you have graciously allowed hundreds of people into your home and you have shared your very life with us. A Reality Show truer than anyone has ever seen. You do it with dignity, generosity, clarity, and care. It only gets better as you go along.

    I didn’t know you had a YouTube channel so that was a delightful surprise. Your presence and command of language make it a pleasure to watch you. Your voice is pleasant and calm and you instinctively know how to pause. (You ought to market that gift to the breathless presenters who exhaust their viewers.) Everything you show is very easy to follow even for someone like me who will not be undertaking the building of anything. You instill confidence in others who want to learn to do it and you help them succeed. Your transparency makes you real and endearing.

    I am drooling over your studio as the end result nears and waiting in anticipation for the next chapter of your house story. I see pink in your future.

    Regards also to Matt and the furry friends.

  43. You go girl. I love it when you share your mistakes because it makes me feel normal. And although it drives me crazy sometimes when you finish something and then change it a million times, you have taught me that it’s ok to do that. Not only has that freed me to change it, but it’s also freed me to try something knowing that I have permission to change it if it doesn’t work for me.

  44. This was so fun to watch Kristi :)I am really happy you have broken through any fears to get you to this point of sharing your work process with us via fun videos!! You make it look so easy and the fact that you do it all by yourself is amazing!!

  45. Oh wow! Just found this craft table video and love it! You make it look so easy. Thank you so much for the video and information and love all the detail you put into it.