Real Talk: The Death Of A Dream (Letting Go Of Perfect, Accepting The Good)
I feel like I’ve been undergoing a huge change in mindset lately. I know you’ve seen it in my posts over the last month or so, but as of the last few days, I seem to have reached the end point of that journey. I’m talking about my decade-long dream of adding on to our house.
Last night, I looked back at the most recent “final floor plan” that I could find that showed the final version of the floor plan of the addition I’ve been dreaming about for the last ten years. My ideas for the addition went through many changes over the years, but I’m pretty sure this was the last full floor plan I shared.
For comparison, this is what our floor plan looks like right now. The little room to the back of our main bathroom that is solid black is the original master bathroom that is completely inaccessible right now, but my new plan is to make that accessible again instead of tearing it down.
At the beginning of 2025, I made my list of home goals for that year, just as I have done for the last several years. On that 2025 list, I said the following:
Y’all, I feel like this is the year that I’ll finally be able to say goodbye to the sunroom.
I have been wanting to tear this room down for years, but it’s where my washer and dryer hookups have been all these years, and it’s also where our hot water heater is located. But once our closet/laundry room combo is finished, I’ll no longer need this room for a laundry room. And once my workshop is organized, I’ll no longer need to store tools and supplies in the sunroom. That just leaves the hot water heater. And I would be absolutely ecstatic if I could…
- Have a tankless water heater installed,
- Have French doors installed at the back of the music room (which we’d have to do anyway, temporarily, while the addition is being framed, so why not do that sooner than later?), and then
- TEAR DOWN THE SUNROOM!!!!!
Y’all, I want to make that happen so badly!!! I want that room gone. I feel like the back of our house is really starting to shape up now that the carport is finished and usable, the driveway is poured, and the workshop will soon look very cute. But this sunroom is such an eyesore. Even if we can’t build the addition this year, I still want the sunroom gone. I have been anxious to tear that room down for so long now, and it would be such a momentous occasion if I could make that happen this year.
Well, 2025 came and went, and the sunroom was still there. When it came time for me to make my 2026 list of home goals, you’ll notice that tearing down the sunroom was no longer on my list. I had started to have a change of perspective, but here’s what I said about it:
I hate this room so much, and believe me, I’d love nothing more than to tear it down ASAP. But the fact of the matter is that we need a space for our workout equipment. So until we’re ready to start building our addition, the room needs to stay, and we need to use it as a temporary home gym.
Temporary. That’s the key word. That’s the word I was hanging onto with clenched fists. I still wasn’t willing to keep the sunroom long term, but I could live with it and make use of it temporarily. I was planning the absolute cheapest makeover humanly possible, pretty much sticking to removing the carpet and coating everything in a fresh coat of paint. But in the end, I still wanted it gone.
And then, just over a month ago, my mindset evolved a bit more, and I wrote a post about how I wanted to do a little more than the very basics. I wanted to go ahead and replace the drafty windows and sliding door that won’t completely close to make the room more comfortable while we are making temporary use of the room.
But those new windows and door would be ordered in the right sizes so that they could be removed when we tear down the sunroom and then they could be installed in the new addition. So even just a month ago, I was holding on to that dream of the addition as tightly as I could.
Fifteen days after writing about new windows and a new door for the sunroom, I posted about opening up that hidden bathroom to the sunroom so that we could have a second full bathroom in the house, which would be accessible on this wall of the sunroom where the white rectangle is.
And then eight days after that, I wrote about building a deck that would be accessible through the exterior door in our bathroom. But that deck would sit right in the way of that future addition.
I think you can see where this is going. And I’m sure many of you probably got there much faster than I did. You’ve seen the progression of my thoughts and plans, and I’m sure you were thinking, “There will never be an addition if she does these things.”
And yet, it’s only been within the last few days that I’ve realized what I’ve doing over these last few months. I’ve been slowly but surely letting go of the dream of an addition, and with one new plan after another, I’ve been slowly trying to convince myself that letting go of that dream is okay. It will be fine. But I think I had to let go of it slowly, gradually, over the course of a few months. And then all of a sudden.
And that’s the end that I’ve reached over the last few days. I finally reached the “sudden” end of that slow, gradual, step-by-step letting go process. I can see it now. There won’t be a new addition. And while it actually pains me to write those words because it’s been a dream for over ten years now, I’ve actually had a couple of days to made peace with it.
In fact, I hit that bottom of disappointment, and I’ve already started on my way back up to excitement. I’m excited about the challenge of turning that sunroom and that awful bathroom into something usable, amazing, and permanent. But that means that we’re actually going to have to put more money into it than I had originally planned. It won’t be anything near what a complete tear down and new, much larger addition would cost. But it’s going to cost a heck of a lot more than tearing out carpet and coating everything with a new coat of paint.
The main issue is that if that room is going to become a permanent part of our home, it has to be level with the rest of the house, so the floor has to be raised. And if the floor is raised, the roof has to be raised also. And while I can’t envision myself doing either of those things myself, that means that I’ll have to find other ways to keep costs as low as possible. And that means loads of DIY. I think I’m up for it. I’m ready to face the challenge. And I’m actually pretty excited about it. I think in the end, it will be good. It won’t be perfect, but I’m okay with that. I’d rather live with the good than spend another decade putting off the good while continuing to dream about the perfect.
Addicted 2 Decorating is where I share my DIY and decorating journey as I remodel and decorate the 1948 fixer upper that my husband, Matt, and I bought in 2013. Matt has M.S. and is unable to do physical work, so I do the majority of the work on the house by myself. You can learn more about me here.
So you’re not doing a scramble on the interior of your house and moving the kitchen, etc…but really it will be tearing down the existing sunroom and rebuiliding it, right? The floor has to be raised, the roof will be raised…the crummy windows gone. Really, it’s just the partial back and side walls that will remain. You’re not “making due” with moldy crappy sunroom. You’re going to be building something amazing and useful for your home. I think this new plan sounds amazing! And in looking at the floor plan, a lot more practical for two people…even people who entertain weekly with your small group. Good luck, excited to see what’s going to be going on!
Perfection is the enemy of progress. And we’ve all been there and done that…some of us can say twice, and in your case, thrice. Letting go of one dream and embracing another is not a failure, but the kind of compromise that comes with age, determination, and wisdom. This could end up being your Mona Lisa when it is all said and done and walk right out to that beautiful back yard and enjoy life, it’s meant to be lived, and lived well. You and Matt are doing that…the Fur Kids help out too. I have discovered in my 60 years, sometimes what we plan and how that plan changes is the best thing that ever happened to me and makes me forget about what I was so obsessed with beforehand. You’ve got this, let the creativity begin!
Cheers to you, Matt and the Fur Babies!
Good for you! There is no such thing as perfect. In today’s society everybody wants more, more debt, bigger everything and no end in sight of being debt free. I totally applaud your new mindset. From a debt free reader.
It’s the debt that I had to come to terms with. Matt and I have lived debt-free for over a decade now (well, until we bought the wheelchair van, which is almost paid off). And no matter how I sliced it, tearing down the existing sunroom and building the addition would require a loan for at least part of it. No matter how much I tried to convince myself it was okay to get a loan for the addition, I just never could get there. I don’t want debt. I don’t want that hanging over our heads. I don’t want the stress of it. We have a very reasonable vehicle payment on a van that will soon be paid off, and I don’t even like having THAT debt, but that van was a necessity. The addition isn’t. And I’ve just come to terms with the fact that I’d rather slowly fix up what we have, paying for it in cash as we go, than take on any debt. After we pay off the van, I don’t ever want to be indebted to a bank ever again. Debt-free is the way to go, and I look forward to being back there very soon.
Good for you! I’m excited to see what you do with this space.
Does this mean the kitchen plans will not go forward can that go forward in the future?
The kitchen will stay right where it is now, but I do have plans to make some changes in there. But honestly, if those changes never happen, I won’t be too torn up about that. I like my kitchen. I do wish the back wall of cabinets was arranged more efficiently, but I have a huge pantry, so that helps.
It is such a sweet and powerful moment when we realize we have allowed God to rewrite our dreams! So often I have thought what I wanted was the best plan. Then before I know it He has shown me His plan which is so much better than my version. Like you, I’ve thought it was sudden but looking back I realize He was gradually removing my fingers from holding on. Gently bringing into focus what I couldn’t see. Surrender is a sweet place to be. This is where the story gets really good! Can’t wait to go along with you on this adventure Kristi! Love & blessings to you & Matt from NC
I love this comment. Your words are so encouraging.
Kristi you have encouraged me so much! Glad I could return the favor. We sisters in Christ have to have each other’s backs 😉 God bless you & Matt
I love this!! I have had it happen just like this SO many times in my life. In fact, and my family and I are going through a massive shift right now that I would never have believed was coming even 4 months ago, but that the seeds were clearly planted for much before that. My husband and I and our youngest just spent our last night at our home of 11 years (the other kids are at their grandparents’). We just have a few more things to pack, and then we’re moving, which is something we would never have believed a few months ago… but an even bigger shift is that we’re finding a home that will also fit an apartment for my elderly parents, who have sold their home of 57 years to come with us, something I did not think was in the realm of possibility! But God has been so kind and so gentle in his leading.
HE loves us so much and so perfectly! I still get so overwhelmed by HIS love and care for us! Praying for your family as you settle into this new normal and go on this new adventure. How wonderful that your parents get to be with you and still have their own space. Y’all will make wonderful memories! ☺️
Beautiful and spot on 🙂
What a great post. I almost forgot you were talking about the sunroom. It seemed like an analogy for so many difficult decisions we need to face in the stages of our lives. Thanks for a great read that I’ll be thinking about for a long while.
Hi Kristi: Thank you so much for your post today. I have no doubt your final product will be amazing even if it didn’t jive with your initial dream. But on a more comprehensive level, your post really touched my heart and helped me to realize that it is OK to give up on our dreams sometimes, even if they are decades old. God knows what each of us needs and who knows – the alternative may just be the perfect situation we just didn’t know we needed and deserved in the first place. Thanks again!
I can relate to all of those feelings. After spending 20 years living in a 600 square foot, 100 year old house, this has become my motto – it’s not great but it’s better, and better is great.
You’ve made an excellent decision. I’m happy for you.
This is the least attractive room in your house and I’m so excited to watch you turn it into a jewel! Many of us have rooms like this, ugly little things just hanging off our house. You will teach us how to make them as pretty as the rest of our house. Thank you!
You could make a bedroom back there with an on suite bathroom AND have a workout spot!! Or perhaps a bathroom, workout spot and a space with two chairs and a TV so you can enjoy your backyard!! 😃
You turned that garage into a beautiful studio. You can make that sunroom beautiful too! You can do it! You will win!
This sounds like a great plan! I am a little confused about the “hidden bathroom” is there another bathroom you haven’t tackled?
Yes. The details are here: https://www.addicted2decorating.com/the-potential-for-a-third-bathroom-and-a-second-full-bathroom.html
Forgive me for not reading all the way through… supposed to be working!… but where’s that great little bathroom you’ve redone a couple times? I thought it was in the hallway… where you have “storage” marked now? Are you down to just the master bathroom? I’m not sure I’ve seen photos of that.
The bathroom you remember is being turned into a much-needed storage room as part of our bedroom suite. It will be used to store Matt’s equipment — wheelchair, shower wheelchair, and Hoyer lift — when not in use. Since it’s actually in our bedroom suite, I didn’t need a second, smaller bathroom there, I need storage.
Our master bathroom is here: https://www.addicted2decorating.com/our-finished-master-bathroom-remodel-before-after.html
And then I have a half bathroom in my studio: https://www.addicted2decorating.com/studio-half-bathroom-finished-before-and-after.html
I disagree! Tear down the sunroom. You hate it. It will always be at the back of your mind. Raising the floor won’t be cost prohibitive, but raising the roof will be expensive, if done correctly. The existing structure will probably require upgrades. My vote is to rip off the sunroom, and create a wickedly cute potting shed out of the lonely bathroom (we all wish we had a water source in our sheds). Connect the house to a small gym (new) outside of the existing footprint via a beautiful covered walkway. There’s a good chance the costs will be comparable. But ya know, it’s not my house.
Would you basically be tearing down the sun room and starting over from scratch? Have you figured out the cost of building the dream addition and the cost of remodeling the sun room? The combined square footage of the guest room and home gym in your dream addition is pretty close to the square footage of the sunroom. That doesn’t include the living room area. Maybe you could divide the sun room into a home gym and a guest room or a tv room with a pull out sofa if you wanted space for an occasional guest. In the end, you need to do what makes the most sense for your family.
You go girl! Sometimes dreams are just dreams and are never meant to be real. Sometimes you just want to want something. That is ok. You can’t take it with you anyway. You will love that room when it is finished and you will be so glad you didn’t spend an arm and leg to get it. For the 2 of you, the house is really large enough anyway, don’t you think?
Just think of all the color you can put in that sunroom!
Have a great week and I am glad you decided enough is enough. Move forward and enjoy.
This is a great idea. So happy you’ve made peace with it. It has a bathroom!!!! I never really saw anything horrible about that addition besides the janky windows. If it is the floor level and Matt having access to the family room I would swap my studio into the sunroom and move the family room into the studio cause you don’t have enough to do lol. Anyway thank you for including us. You are by far my favorite blogger.
I wonder why you have to raise the floor in the sunroom, how is Matt getting out there now to his exercise bike? Could you just make a small ramp instead of the extreme expense of raising the floor and the roof? I really think it is great idea to open that bathroom and it looks very nice and useable to me. Yes, it isn’t brand new everything, but it looks fine and as a guest bath and you could put off upgrading it until the most important things are done. It is useable in the meantime. I really hope you get your workshop set up and organized, it would probably make all of your projects much easier if everything had a place and you could find it easier. It would also help you know what you need and what needs to be ordered.
I want to raise the floor because I don’t want to have any room in our house that Matt can’t access. He doesn’t use the sunroom right now. His exercise bike is in my studio. It’s not really possible to have a “small ramp” for wheelchair use. Ramps that are going to be permanent need to have a specific angle to make them usable and not dangerously steep. The angle is a one inch drop per foot. So to have a proper ramp from the music room to the sunroom, I would need about a 9-foot ramp. A 9-foot ramp, no matter which direction it goes, would eat up so much space in that room. It’s just completely impractical to have that kind of ramp inside a house.
I just went back and looked at the bathroom and I see the ceiling needs work and a new vanity. The floor and the tub surround tile look fine. That tile could be painted to be the colors you want the tile to be. Then leave it until you get the other most important stuff done and then go back and change it if you need to. But as a guest bath, you would have that one available as well as the one in your studio. I am sure people would love to use the one in the studio since it all looks so beautiful. When people come here, they are awestruck when they see my sewing room. Like hanging mouth open and looking at everything. Makes me proud that people love it so much.
Im excited to follow this journey! It reminds me of the garage and pantry. Those projects seemed so daunting, but they turned out so amazing!
So what will your new floorplan look like in the sunroom? Are you still going to try to do a guest room, home gym and 2nd living room as you did in your plan for the new addition?
There won’t be room for those three separate spaces in the sunroom. I’m still thinking through the details.
Dreams are the stepping stones to a new path and paths often have curves and turns, along with hills and downward slopes. But they do lead us somewhere – hopefully the final destination enriches our lives in ways we could not have foreseen.
So much of what others have said echo what I wanted to say. In design going for perfection, that last 10% turns into half the time & cost quite often. The perfect solution becomes an infinite challenge because comparisons are relative. you need to look at what you’ve achieved vs what it looks like. Thats why you define what the goals are in the beginning so you can stop, and see.. heh we’re actually good. Moving the goals tends to feed the anxiety & FOMO.
Although I did find myself overthinking on a new roofline to fix the height out of the sunroom this morning. What imagined for framing that roofline…was not good and about as expensive as an addition. I look forward to see what you do.
I just want to say, it is hard to let go of what you truly wanted, but as you grow and think upon things, you have come to realize that good is better than dreams. I agree, dreams are good, but reality can be even better! Do we all get what we think we want, I hope not because in my 78 years, I have learned that what I thought was good, became so much better than good and was the right thing in the end. Attitude determines altitude. You will make it wonderful and just right for you and Matt.
Since you will be raising the shed roof above the sunroom, please consider extending the roof on either side of it. It’s possible that the cost of the additional footage will be less than expected and provide advantages.
1. A covered deck will allow for more frequent use, but even better consider converting this into a screened-in porch. And if you use cat-scratch-proof wire mesh, this will become a Catio for your indoor cats. Then you can share the space and be able to watch your cats exploring the scents, feeling the air movement, listen to rustling leaves, and be mesmerized by the flight of birds and insects. This space could be accessed both from your primary bathroom or the sun porch by adding a door.
2. Extending the shed roof on the other side will have two advantages. First off, the wheelchair ramp will be covered. I’m unclear about the level of the ramp just outside the corner of the sunroom. Is it possible for this to become another entryway/exit for Matt? You could have doors on either corner of the sunroom.
3. Another advantage of extending the shed roof on the side of the carport, is that this will raise the roof above your pantry and enable an 8’ ceiling. This will create a more open feeling in the pantry and open-up options for its use in a future kitchen remodel. You would be able to have upper cabinets on either side of the pantry window and get your kitchen sink window.
Why would you ever settle for less than perfect? Just think of all the rooms have redone because you were not happy with something. I am guessing some date in the near future you will redo this area, too. I am really disappointed in your decision.
If you’re willing to cover the cost of the addition, I’d be happy to go forward on it. 🙂 You can make your check for $170,000, payable to Kristi Linauer, and I can send you my mailing address.
This will be a great solution for you, I think. Things happen for a reason.
And you may come to love it even more. No regrets.
“I’d rather live with the good than spend another decade putting off the good while continuing to dream about the perfect.” This SO speaks to me, this is what I’ve been ruminating on for the last several months, you just put it into words. Thank you.
God’s hand is in guiding the timing and your decision. You’ve gone through a floor raising and also a roofline adjustment with your studio construction so you already know how it goes. All will be well, and beautiful!